Nov
Posted on 19th November 2020
Hi. It’s Dave. From before. I wanted to tell you that due to a demand that I made up entirely in my head but has since proven to be an actual demand from humans other than myself, I have made entrance to my global street gang the Dangerous Snakes Who Hate Bullshit possible once more via the simple act of getting your own DSWHB shirt designed by me in my spare time away from schooling mofos and righting wrongs in general. Wearing the shirt instantly makes you the head of your local DSWHB chapter and invites you into a life of danger previously unfathomable. Also, the shirt is purple, which looks great on everybody basically. Get yours now by going here and saying goodbye to life as you’ve ever known it. Buy a shirt for a friend too so you can roll deep and give the finger to people at intersections for no apparent reason and stuff.
Your man,
Dave Hill
Sep
Posted on 24th September 2020
I wrote something about one of all-time favorite everythings Barry White for my buddies at Earthquaker Devices. You can read the whole thing here. I hope you enjoy it so much.
Practice what you preach,
Dave Hill
Sep
Posted on 14th September 2020
Hi. It’s Dave again. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. The Internet- she is elusive. Anyway, recently my alter ego Lance the King of Black Metal was featured on Guitar World as part of their Sick Riffs series. As you can imagine, it’s pretty sick. And while, sure, I have always dreamed of being featured on Guitar World and feel slightly jealous that Lance beat me to it, I’m still really proud of that guy. Watch the whole thing above or go here to see Lance school mofos on how to play the riff to Witch Taint’s hit song “Death to Death Metal”!
Stay street,
Dave Hill
Apr
Posted on 24th April 2020
Attention Gorgeous People:
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill. I hope this note finds you safe and healthy and wearing outfits that don’t get caught up in the visuals while eating and drinking like you just got out of prison. I just wanted to pop out of my bunker very quickly to tell you that my new comedy album The Pride of Cleveland is out TODAY on 800 Pound Gorilla Records and I’m super pumped about it. It features jokes, stories, sweet guitar solos, and basically makes Hamilton seem like bullsh*t. You can get it here: https://800pgr.lnk.to/DaveWE
Buy it, stream it, turn it on and give it the finger. It don’t make no matter. I hope you enjoy it cuz it’s the best.
I also wanted to invite you to the Super Sick Facebook LIVE album Release Party I’m having TONIGHT at 7pm EST on my Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/TheDaveHill
You don’t even need to be on Facebook to watch it and totally party super hard with me. Just pour yourself a beverage, put on one those giant foam cowboy hats, and head to my Facebook page, where I will be talking, answering questions, playing a few songs, ripping a few sweet guitar solos, and begging you to buy my new album if you haven’t already for an hour straight. Did I mention it’s gonna be super sick? Yeah, well it is. Deal with it. In fact, I gotta go get the donkey in place now, so I’ll now just wish you love, light, and a third awesome thing of your choosing and hit send.
Your man,
Dave Hill
P.S.
Please tell 71 friends to pick up my album too or your computer will explode or something.
Apr
Posted on 16th April 2020
Hi. It’s Dave again just writing to tell you that my new comedy album The Pride of Cleveland will be out worldwide April 24 on 800 Pound Gorilla Records. If you like jokes, stories, sweet guitar solos, and me berating my house band for no apparent reason, I think you’re really gonna take a shine to it. Please order it for yourself and everyone you’ve ever met right here now.
Your man,
Dave Hill
Apr
Posted on 16th April 2020
After sixteen long years in the making (beginning with this, the debut album by my alter ego Lance the King of Black Metal’s band Witch Taint is finally here. Get it or the might Taint will turf your lawn! In fact, you can order it here.
Dark regards,
Lance the King of Black Metal aka me, Dave Hill
Apr
Posted on 10th April 2020
Hi. It’s Dave. From before. First off, I hope this note finds you safe, healthy, and as attractive as ever. These are indeed trying times. However, while this might not actually solve everything right away, I am still very excited to tell you that my new comedy album The Pride of Cleveland is out right now and you can listen to it exclusively on Pandora, which is from the future. To hear it on Pandora just click this link and listen to the whole album entirely for free and on demand again and again and again. Please force others to do the same, preferably with snacks and goggles, but that’s your call.
This is my second stand-up comedy album and I am especially excited about this one because not only do I stand there and tell jokes on it for a seriously long time, but I am also joined at various points by the best backing band I could find at the time, who play music while I rip face-melting guitar solos and tell even more jokes (Also, the club gave me free nachos that someone forgot to pick up after the show, which is awesome). In short, it is the best album and you’re gonna love it. The album will be available everywhere else on April 24 (don’t worry, I will remind you) on 800 Pound Gorilla Records, but I wanted to give you a chance to memorize it beforehand so you can repeat the jokes later at cocktail parties, parole hearings, britot (the plural of bris- I looked it up), or wherever the mood strikes as soon as we can do that stuff again. I hope you enjoy it so much. Also, that awesome was done by the great Danny Hellman, one of my favorite artists of all-time.
Your man,
Dave Hill
Apr
Posted on 10th April 2020
Hi. It’s Dave again. If you think you can handle it, the mighty Witch Taint have released a brand new video for their extremely extreme song “Death to Death Metal.” It was directed by the Twyford-Rigleys and it is terrifying. Watch it above. Also, the debut Witch Taint album Sons of Midwestern Darkness, sixteen years in the making, is out today. You can get it right here.
Dark regards,
Dave Hill
Mar
Posted on 21st March 2020
Hi. It’s Dave again. I hope you are staying safe, healthy, and happy as you can during these crazy times. In hopes of bringing you some comfort and good times, I took the liberty of making a playlist for you to enjoy while cooped up at home. It features deep cuts, not-so-deep cuts, some classics, and even a few things to fast forward through depending on your mood. Please note there is not much “heavy” music on this playlist in case you are locked up with your aunt or whatever. Maybe I will make a playlist to rock out to later. In the meantime, this is pretty stone cold in my opinion.
Love,
Dave Hill
Mar
Posted on 18th March 2020
As many of you who follow the world’s top news stories are well aware, I was permanently banned from Twitter this past June. Shortly after that, my friend and fellow comedian Jim Tews, whom I maintain looks like Jon Hamm’s cousin, made a short film about it. You can watch it above over and over again.
Sticking it to the man,
Dave Hill
