Oct
Posted on 27th October 2009
It’s been an action-packed past few days and I am still pulling myself together after all the action referenced earlier in this sentence. The mayhem started this past Thursday night at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York, where I broke out another installment of my popular nightclub act, the Dave Hill Explosion. The legendary Dick Cavett was my guest on the show for the second time ever and I was also joined by the legendary Gordon Gano from the Violent Femmes and his backing band the Ryans. The legendary Carl Arnheiter was also in the house. It was a super fun show highlighted by Dick Cavett calling me peculiar- something you never expect from someone you have watched a lot on DVD- and later joining Gordon Gano and the Ryans for an extended improvised jam during which he free-formed some Rudyard Kipling verses. It was a stone cold gas. That is a picture of me and Dick Cavett having a really nice time above (photo by Beowulf Sheehan). And below is Dick Cavett blowing minds with the band. Whoa- that shit was historic in nature.
Friday, the mayhem continued as I headed down to Washington, DC for the Bentzen Ball, the excellent comedy festival curated by the excellent Tig Notaro in conjunction with the excellent folks at Brightest Young Things. I missed Thursday, the opening night of the festival, because of the stuff mentioned in paragraph one of this entry, but I was able to be a part of the magic for the rest of the weekend and I was one glad motherf@#ker about that.
Friday night, I did the later show in the back bar of the Black Cat along with the great Steve Agee, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Natasha Leggero, Hugh Moore, Ben Kronberg, Cynthia Levin, and Courtney Fearrington. My brain wasn’t fully functioning as a result of post-show mayhem from Thursday night, but I still managed to hold myself together enough to not get pelted with anything during my set. It was a fun show. Afterwards, everyone went over to the offices of Gibson guitars in Chinatown for a post-show shindig that included free burritos, guitars hanging on the wall, and a really loud DJ. I don’t know why DJs always turn the music up so loud that people can’t easily have a conversation but they seem to be really into that sort of thing for some reason. Me? I’m against it! It all worked out though- most people just went outside on the deck where they could hear each other and exchange anecdotes from life and tell each other how it was nice to see each other, which it was.
On Saturday, I was a little beat up from all the good times and also the free burrito mentioned in the previous paragraph, so I slept in super late and then ate some cereal, which was delicious, especially to me, a guy who really likes cereal. Then I headed over to see the live taping of the Sound of Young America show they were having over there at the Renaissance Hotel in Washington, DC, our nation’s capital. It was really fun and included great sets by Chelsea Peretti, Hugh Moore, and Matt Braunger. Also, excellent host Jesse Thorn interviewed DC punk legend Ian Mackaye, a man I greatly admire for a whole bunch of reasons. It was a really fun and interesting interview. After the show, I cornered Ian to say hello and take the above photo with him. Something tells me I was a little more excited about the photo than he was. I can’t put my finger on it.
After Ian and I had a great time posing for that photo together, I headed up to the cake and champagne party put on by Cake Love, a delicious cake company founded by Warren Brown, a great guy I totally went to grade school with. I hadn’t seen Warren probably since the ‘90s, so it was fun to catch up with him and try his delicious cakes. If you live in DC and like cake, you would be motherf@#king crazy not to get a cake from Warren. He has made cake his bitch.
I was pretty wiped out from eating all that cake, so I had to go take a nap. I took my pants off and everything. That’s how tired I was. Sometimes when you are really tired, pants just get in the way of things. That’s just science.
Refreshed from my nap, I headed over to the Studio Theatre in Northwest DC to do a fun show with the great Todd Barry, superfox Mary Lynn Rajskub, sultry Lizz Winstead, Matt Braunger, David Huntsberger, Adam Cayton-Holland, Randolph Terrance, and Eli Sairs. It was a super fun show. Well-rested and full of cake, I had a much better set at this show than the night before. And I had a blast watching all the other comics when I wasn’t trying to pull myself together in the weird rapey, bathroom with blue lighting they had at the theatre. I’m always suspicious of bathrooms with mood lighting, especially when that mood is really rapey. “Let’s put up rape lighting- that’ll be good,” someone must have said at some point. And then someone probably just looking to get through the day went ahead and put that rape lighting in. Life.
After Saturday’s show, a bunch of the folks from the festival went to a late-night party in some warehouse kind of space where there was free Mexican food and also a really loud DJ again. I hung out for a while and talked with friends and also ate a fajita before I decided I just couldn’t wring any more fun out of the evening and headed back to go to sleep.
Sunday, I woke up early to go to a Renaissance Fair in Maryland, something I wouldn’t have expected to be typing right now. My friend Bob, a pickle magnate, asked me to be in a video he is making so I totally went out to the Renaissance Fair and played a part in the video. I am not really a Renaissance Fair guy, but I like to see other folks having a really nice time so I’m all for it. Things went south quickly at the Renaissance Fair though after I ate something called “sausage on a stick,” which- as hinted at in the name- was a large sausage on a stick. That’s the thing about sausage though, you never know if you’ve made a mistake until it’s too late. I guess it’s kind of like being a contestant on the Price Is Right or something.
I was pretty wiped out from the Renaissance Fair and also that sausage, so when I got back to DC, I totally needed a nap again, so I took another nap before pulling myself together to head over to the 9:30 Club to see Sarah Silverman, Laura Silverman, Steve Agee, Chelsea Peretti, and Tig Notaro close out the Bentzen Ball by putting on a seriously awesome sold out show. Before the show I threw down some mozzarella sticks at some bar across the street, which put me in a somewhat compromised state but I ended up having a super delightful time anyway because everyone was super hilarious and I also ended up getting kind of drunk because I lead the party lifestyle.
Now I am just sitting here on the Amtrak back to New York City and wondering what’s next. Who knows- either way I’m sure my hair will look incredible.
Oct
Posted on 27th October 2009
Attention People of New York City:
Hi. How are you? I am pretty good. Thanks for asking. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that this Thursday, October 29 at 8pm at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, I will breaking out another public exhibition of my award-winning (Thanks, Mom!) new one-man show type thing “Big in Japan,” soon to be an international hit…in my pants. Wait, wait- you know what? That’s really immature. I am sorry about that. What I meant to say is that I really hope you can make it to my show. It is about my life rocking people and also just plain rocking when there aren’t even people around to rock. This show will make you believe in the power of your dreams and probably a lot of other stuff too and it only costs five bucks. It is directed by the excellent Jeff Tomsic, assistant directed by the excellent Nicole Brodeur, and features the excellent Chris Chuang as “The Roadie.” My show will be immediately followed by Sidecarmageddon at no additional cost to you or your loved ones. Side effects include having a really nice time. See how I did that? I know, I know. Anyway, come or I will stab you. Wait- that’s not what I mean at all. What I meant to say was please come. Okay, that’s better. You can get tickets here.
Love,
Dave Hill
Oct
Posted on 19th October 2009
I was delighted/disturbed to see today’s front page news on the Wall Street Journal. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on here, but- needless to say- this pretty much confirms what I’ve been saying for a long, long time about the world of finance- it’s pretty much good times all the time. Sometimes money and power aren’t enough. I just hope that guy saw it coming.
Oct
Posted on 19th October 2009
Attention People of New York City:
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that this coming Thursday, October 22 at 9:30pm at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in the heart of Chelsea, America’s neighborhood, I will once again be making history in a dark basement while in various states of undress by breaking out yet another installment of my world-famous nightclub act the Dave Hill Explosion. Let me get right to the heart of the matter- Dick Cavett, one of the greatest talk show hosts of all-time and a personal hero of mine and a lot of other motherf@#kers too, is going to be a guest on my show that night, a fact that only serves to further remind me just how lucky we are to be living in New York City. Where else can you see a living legend and Dick Cavett on the same stage for just five dollars? Ha! That is a joke I just made suggesting I am the living legend in question as opposed to Dick Cavett. File under: more where that came from. Dick Cavett, however, is certainly the living legend here, while I am merely pretty f@#king sweet in general, a condition that- along with the baboon heart and my ability to solve crimes that have yet to happen- I have been living with for some time now. Anyway, as if having Dick Cavett on my show isn’t enough, I will also be joined by musical guest Gordon Gano and the Ryan Brothers, a rock band that- as hinted at in the name- features Gordon Gano from the legendary Violent Femmes. I know- I don’t know how I do it either. Anyway, I really hope you can make it as all that sh*t I just mentioned is going to be awesome. You can get tickets right here.
Love,
Dave Hill
Oct
Posted on 18th October 2009
Hi there. If you would like to have your ass handed to you by some rock music, come see the Walter Schreifels Band- featuring Walter (Gorilla Biscuits, Youth of Today) Quicksand, CIV, Rivals Schools, Walking Concert) singing and playing guitar, Arthur Smilios (Gorilla Biscuits, War Zone, CIV) rocking the bass, Andy Action (2 Skinnee J’s, Apes and Androids, Speedball Baby, Dangerous) beating the drums, and me, Dave Hill, bringing the heat on guitar like a motherf@*ker- at the Music Hall of Williamsburg this Tuesday as we play a special early show at 7:30pm for Brooklyn Vegan’s CMJ showcase type thing they are having that night. You can get the full scoop right here. It’s gonna be a scorcher. Scorcher’s are good. I’ve really been getting into them lately.
Oct
Posted on 14th October 2009
Attention People of New York City:
This is a quick, yet ultimately rambling reminder that TOMORROW, Thursday, October 15 at 8pm over there at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Chelsea, I will breaking out at least six dollars worth of entertainment for just five dollars in the form of my brand-new one-man show that I am calling “Dave Hill: Big in Japan,” a show that features me talking and rocking super hard in equal measure to a point that most motherf@#kers can’t even handle. I can’t really get into things too much right now because I am in the middle of what- for privacy reasons- I will describe simply as an extremely painful, uninsurable, and possibly life-threatening cosmetic procedure that I believe to be ultimately entirely worth it assuming they get the brows right this time. My show tomorrow is directed by the great Jeff Tomsic and assistant directed by the great Nicole Brodeur. It also features ingenues Chris Chuang and Zach Danziger in what- as of this writing- I believe to be career-defining roles. And is if all that is not enough, you can and should stick around to see Pangaea 3000 Sucks at no additional cost to you or your loved ones immediately afterwards. You can get tickets right here. F it.
Love,
Dave Hill
Oct
Posted on 13th October 2009
I just finished Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing by Ted Conover, a journalist who actually become a corrections officer at Sing Sing, the popular prison in Ossining, New York, in order to write about what goes on inside the Big House.
I had originally picked up a copy of Newjack a few years ago, but lost it somehow after I was just a few chapters in. After my own recent trip to Sing Sing, however, I decided I should pick up another copy. I somehow managed to lose that copy about halfway through the book. Determined, however, I bought a third copy of Newjack in order to officially read the fuck out of that book. You’re welcome, Ted.
Anyway, as hinted at by all its best-sellerness and all, Newjack is a great read. It was especially fun to read the book this time around as, having been there, I could actually picture many of the places he describes in the book. In the end, I think I had whole lot more fun in prison than Ted did, but I’m glad he went the distance to get all the info to write his excellent book. If you’ve ever wondered what prison is really like, you should totally read the fuck out of it. As it turns out, it doesn’t seem nearly as don’t-drop-the-soapy as we were all originally led to believe. I can’t tell if I’m relieved or disappointed about that. Next thing I know, someone is going to tell me that women’s prisons aren’t full of super hot she-felons in ripped uniforms lezzing out all the time. I don’t know what to believe in anymore.
Oct
Posted on 12th October 2009
Recently, my friend Fred Wistow, a known beacon of both wisdom and menace, introduced my friend Malcolm Gladwell, another known beacon of both wisdom and menace, at the Fourth Annual Children’s Rights Benefit, an event benefiting children’s rights it would seem, in New York City. For wardrobe reasons, I was not invited. It’s okay- I was busy that night. Anyway, like most things in life, Fred’s speech is now on the Internet for the world’s enjoyment. Watch it now if you like good times all the time.
Oct
Posted on 9th October 2009
Hi there. Do you like Smiths music and/or boning? If so, you should totally come to “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now,” the incredible night of Smiths/Morrissey music and speed dating I am totally putting on once again at the Black Rabbit Bar in Greenpoint on Wednesday, October 28 at 8pm. You can come and speed date or just come and hang out and not speed date at all and just have a seriously great time drinking stuff and listening to the great music while watching people struggle to find something to talk about. Either way, I strongly encourage you to try and get busy in the bathrooms there. They are really big and you can pull off almost anything in there short of a donkey show. Hope to see you there. You like fun, right? This is an example of that.
Oct
Posted on 7th October 2009
Attention People of New York City:
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that next Thursday, October 15 at 8:00pm, I will performing my brand new one-man show “Dave Hill: Big in Japan” like a motherf@#ker for the very third time over there at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in historic Chelsea. Attendance is mandatory unless you hate having a really, really nice time that might also lead to sex. Anyway, I realize there has been a lot of confusion- especially in the Scandinavian press- about my new one-man show. And while there is some truth to the rumor that my new one-man show is a coming-of-stage tale based on my early years as a young Austrian girl who wanted nothing more than to express herself through dance even if her pimp Danny had different plans for her, it is mostly about one man’s (me, silly!) undying will to rock the f@#k out of people and also this one time I went to Japan and rocked the f@#k out of people with my rocking rock Valley Lodge. Also- and I cannot stress this enough- it is NOT the same show as the Dave Hill Explosion so stop thinking that, dammit. However, my new one-man show is explosive in nature and possesses similar heatbringing properties and an almost identical bang quotient (sin(ax)sin(bx) – k cos(ax)cos(bx) = number of chicks who totally want to bang me). Anyway, I really hope you can make it. Aside from all the heat I will be bringing to the show, it is directed by the great Jeff Tomsic and assistant directed by the super dupes Nicole Brodeur. It also features the winsome Chris Chuang and the fiery Zachary Danziger in the roles of a lifetime. And as if all of that is not enough, my show is immediately followed by Pangaea 3000 Sucks, a great show that you totally don’t have to pay extra for. So come, you know, if you want. I’m tired of fighting about it. You can get tickets right here.
Love,
Dave Hill
