May
Posted on 22nd May 2011
Hi. How are you? I’m really great. Thanks for asking. Anyway, if you would like to read an interview with me, Dave Hill, then you have just hit Easy Street because recently I was interviewed by the great Giancarlo Ditrapano for Vice. You can read the whole thing right here to get greater insight into me, my universe, and my overall bangability. I hope you enjoy it so much.
May
Posted on 17th May 2011
Attention People of New York City:
Must write quickly because I am using the computers at the library and supposedly I’m not allowed to use them anymore after what allegedly happened even though, in my opinion, the surveillance video tells a very different story but whatever. Anyway, this is your man Dave Hill reminding you one last time that TOMORROW, which is to say Wednesday, May 18, I will be breaking out yet another installment of my earth-moving and pants-shattering nightclub act the Dave Hill Explosion, which is a goddamn triumph of the human spirit and about 500 other things that most people can’t handle, over there at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre at 9:30pm. Getting right to the point, my guests tomorrow will be my close personal friend and talk show great Dick Cavett as well as fiery folk pop chanteuse Jonathan Coulton. This show is going to be taped for Sirius radio’s Raw Dog comedy channel, so don’t hold back on clapping and/or making swears at me during the show if you want to make your mark on the future. Also, the show tomorrow is only five bucks. Think about that for a second. When was the last time you got to see a showbiz legend AND Dick Cavett and Jonathan Coulton up close and personal for about the same price as a BLT, the popular sandwich? Also, you didn’t hear it from me, but the show I am planning on unleashing like a motherf@#ker tomorrow will be worth at least six bucks (or a BLT and small beverage of your choice). Yeah, I don’t know how I do it either. Anyway, I really hope you can make it tomorrow because it’s hands down the best thing happening in New York City regardless of what those f@#kers over at Carnegie Hall might try to tell you. Also, you can drink stuff during my show. Let’s see you try that at Carnegie Hall- they’d throw you out on your ass. I can also tell you from firsthand experience that they also frown upon the eating of cold cuts, pipe smoking, and what I consider to be completely normal and acceptable summer attire. But enough about those f@#kers- I’m tired of their bullsh*t. Let’s focus on what matters- you can get tickets for my show tomorrow right here:
Love,
Dave Hill
May
Posted on 16th May 2011
I just decided that my new favorite song of all-time is “Irreplaceable” by Beyoncé. It pretty much has everything except for a guitar solo but I can add that myself when I play along at home. The only thing I don’t like about the song is that the more I listen to it, the more I start to think Beyoncé is breaking up with me, something I just really can’t handle right now. Above is the live version, which is great, just like the regular version. I tend to think Beyoncé is selling it a little too hard here but that’s her prerogative I guess. I just want to tell her she can just relax and sing her heart out to me. And then after that we can just go get Chinese food or something. Really, it’s up to her. Anyway, I just needed to get all of this off my chest. Thank you for listening.
To the left,
Dave Hill
May
Posted on 13th May 2011
Here is some great news- the new episode of Dave Hill’s Podcasting Incident is here like a motherf@#ker. Get yourself cozy as I sit down for a delightful chat with the lovely and talented Martha Plimpton, whom you no doubt know from the hit television program “Raising Hope”; the popular films “Goonies, “Parenthood,” “I Shot Andy Warhol, “200 Cigarettes”; Broadway, and so much more. Martha and I talk about her recent trip to India, the hit series “Raising Hope,” whether or not theatre is like cross-country skiing, scotch, living in NYC vs. staying in Los Angeles, her alternate universe life as a truck driver, and about 50 other things that will change you forever. You can and should listen to the whole thing right here. I hope you enjoy it so much.
Love,
Dave Hill
May
Posted on 11th May 2011
.jpg)
Hi. How are you? I am fine. Thanks so much for asking. I can’t remember if I mentioned this here yet, but just in case I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I am totally writing a book and St. Martin’s Press, the popular book-making people, are totally going to publish it. You can read further important details on the whole thing right here (third item down). My incredible book is coming out sometime next year. When it does, I hope you will buy several copies for you and your loved ones and maybe a couple other people too. It will make a great gift for men, women, children (albeit sophisticated ones who can handle naughty talk), and those who reject such labels alike. I am going to make sure the cover looks really cool too so you can leave it out on your coffee table, nightstand, or gun rack and it will make you seem really classy, like the kind of person who knows from good literature and such. In the back of the book, there will be a picture of me just sitting there looking like it’s really hard for me not to jot down all my thoughts and feelings at all times, especially when someone is trying to take my picture. Also, this photo is going to make people want to have intercourse with me, especially after reading my book, which will pretty much have everything. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up on all this. Thank you for your time. I guess just go back to whatever you were doing now. Really, it’s up to you. You seem nice. I am not looking to control you.
May
Posted on 10th May 2011
Attention People of New York City:
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that the stitches are out and I am finally ready to return the stage and perform as the man I was always meant to be. To celebrate this fact, I will be unleashing a brand-new installment of my critically-acclaimed and just sort of pretty f@#king sweet in general nightclub act the Dave Hill Explosion next Wednesday, May 18 at 9:30pm over there at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, which is right here in town. As many of you who have been following my career from the very beginning are well aware, this is my very first Explosion in New York City in the year 2011. I know a lot of people are wondering what has taken me so long, but just take my word on it- I have been really busy with a lot of awesome stuff I can’t even get into right now, sh*t that most people can’t even handle and those that can would just want to have intercourse with me right there on the spot and to be honest I’m just too busy for that crap right now even though I would totally like to put it to you and then take you out to a spaghetti dinner immediately after or just as soon as you are able to pull yourself together. You need to take yourself a rest and I will totally understand. Help yourself to whatever is in the fridge. What’s mine is yours. Except for the mini-pies. I got those from Citarella and that sh*t was expensive. I mean, you can have some but just don’t go nuts, alright? Save some for the big man (me). Anyway, as you can probably imagine, I will be bringing a lot of heat in its various forms at my show next week and I got a new haircut too, which is great for me. Also, this show is going to be taped for Sirius radio and then played at a later date on their Raw Dog channel, so- even though I can’t tell you who the guests are on the show next week just yet- rest assured they too will be explosive in nature. And as if all of that is not enough, my sidebitch Phil and henchman Carl Arnheiter will be in the house, regulating and whatnot. I really hope you can make it. That would be so great. You can get tickets right here and you should too because I am not messing around.
Love,
Dave Hill
May
Posted on 10th May 2011
As you can probably imagine, I get a lot of mail, both in the electronic form and in the old fashioned paper form delivered by men with big sacks (of mail). Lately, people have mostly been asking me whether or not I ever wear dainty funtime shoes. And I am happy to report that, yes, I do. In fact, I am wearing a pair today, the ones above. I bought them a few years ago. They were on sale at the Paul Smith store on Fifth Avenue for 50% off, so they were only like $700 or something. It seemed crazy not to buy them. As you can see, the shoes are predominantly pink plaid on the sides with suede toes and whimsical laces that let people know that you’re all about good times all the time. Some people might think these shoes are pretty much an invitation to have your ass kicked, but in fact it’s pretty much the opposite. Wearing shoes like this lets everyone around you know that you are a badass who is confident in his masculinity and is not exactly opposed to the idea of having intercourse with a lot of chicks that are out there today. Even better, these shoes go with pretty much everything. Today I am wearing them with jeans, but tomorrow I might throw them on with a pair of jodhpurs and be totally fine that way too. F it. Okay, I’m glad we had this talk. Now get back to whatever you were doing.
May
Posted on 4th May 2011
Every once in a while on this here blog, I’ll write about stuff I like that I think you’ll like too. Right now is one of those times. This time I am recommending you read/download/print out/sign up for Five Dials magazine, a cool, futuristic magazine full of great and funny writing that I totally think you will enjoy. The current issue was guest edited by the great Deirdre Dolan and features writing by people like Kevin Baker, Louie Theroux, Heidi Julavits, Alexandra Styron, Darin Strauss, Peter Mehlman, Hugh Gallagher, and some other folks who are total pros at writing stuff. Go get it right here now. You will thank me or at least sit there thinking about how cool it was that I told you about it. I can feel it.
Love,
Dave Hill
