Jul
Posted on 28th July 2010
Hi. How are you? I’m great- thanks for asking. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that Episode 3 of my incredible new podcast Dave Hill’s Podcasting Incident is now totally up on the Internet for your listening pleasure. This episode features part two of my mindblowing summit with the legendary Dick Cavett. This time around, we talk about all sorts of incredible things and also at one point I use his bathroom. You can listen to it in the player above or by clicking here, or you can go to iTunes and download and subscribe to my podcast there. I recommend all three (or four depending on how you look at it). Anyway, I hope you enjoy it so much. And while you’re at it, join the Dave Hill’s Podcasting Incident Facebook page here. Okay, thanks- that about covers it for now.
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 23rd July 2010
Hi. Do you like rock music and also television? Oh, great, because then you are really going to like this recent bit of news. My incredible rock band Valley Lodge’s hit song “Barricade” from our critically-acclaimed second album “Semester at Sea” (now available on iTunes and beyond) will be featured on the hit television program “Make It or Break It,” which is on ABC, one of the popular networks out there today. Watch the program as there are hot chicks on it and then our great song comes on. And then go buy our records and stuff. We’re so good and rocking and other stuff it’s weird.
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 21st July 2010
Hi. I just wanted to let you know that episode two of my incredible podcast Dave Hill’s Podcasting Incident is now up. This time around I have a lovely chat with the legendary Dick Cavett. This is part one of my scintillating and also riveting conversation with the talk show great. You can listen to it in the player above or by going here. Or you can totally go to iTunes and download it there. And while you’re at it, subscribe to my podcast on iTunes right here too. That would be so great. Thanks for listening. And while you’re at it, why not watch the great clip of Dick Cavett in action below:
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 19th July 2010
Last night I watched “The Evil Dead,” the hit 1981 film written and directed by Sam Raimi, whom you no doubt know as the director of the popular “Spider Man” films starring Tobey Maguire in the role of a lifetime, and also the producer of the popular television program “Xena: Warrior Princess” starring Lucy Lawless in the role of a princess named Xena who becomes a warrior and establishes a large lesbian fan base in the process.
As hinted at in the title, “The Evil Dead” is mostly about a bunch of dead people who are total dicks to everybody pretty much every chance they get, which turns out to be from about ten minutes into the movie until right up to the very end the movie.
As is often the case with films in which a lot of people end up dying and/or taking their tops off, “The Evil Dead” starts out with five attractive young people driving out into the woods in search of good times and also hopefully intercourse. Along the way, their car breaks down even though the one guy swears he just had it fixed. Lucky for them, there is an abandoned cabin right by where their car stopped working, so they just go inside and start drinking a bunch in hopes that this will lead to intercourse. It is right around this time that Shelly, who is easily the most bangable chick in the movie, gets all pissed at everyone from totally out of nowhere so she decides to wander outside into the woods at night for no apparent reason other than it seems like she can be a real bitch sometimes and that’s just the kind of crap she likes to pull sometimes and everyone is pretty much used to it by now so whatever.
Once Shelly gets out into the woods she hears some weird noises so she yells “Is somebody out here? Who’s out here?!” into the night a couple times, which was a totally bad move because everybody knows that that’s just asking for it as far as movies like this go. Next thing Shelly knows a bunch of vines and tree branches and other plant-based life forms that make up the woods in general come from out of nowhere, pin her down to the ground, ruin her pajamas, and start having intercourse with her. As you can probably imagine, she gets totally pissed about it, which- despite her generally erratic behavior up until this point in the movie- seems like a perfectly reasonable reaction to the situation if you ask me.
After Shelly is finished getting banged by all those brances and stuff, she heads back inside and- as is usually the case when someone gets raped by the woods- she pretty much won’t shut up about it. She gets so mad in fact that she decides to turn into a zombie and starts running around with a #2 pencil and even stabs one of the other girls in the movie in the ankle with it because she is so mad that all those plants had intercourse with her. Naturally, everyone else in the movie interprets this as a total dick move so they lock her in the basement where she will have no choice but to have a long hard think about things while also being a zombie. And despite the fact that there is now a #2 pencil wielding zombie in the basement, everyone else decides to spend the night at the cabin anyway because they figure it would be a good idea to “get some rest” even though the viewer totally knows this isn’t going to happen. It’s almost impossible to sleep with zombies in the basement whether they’ve got #2 pencils or not.
It is important to note at this point that one of main male characters in the movie is named Ashely, which is seriously confusing. Generally speaking, I think it is important for the character’s gender in a movie to be clearly defined, especially when other characters in the movie are getting banged by trees and stuff.
Anyway, a few minutes later, Cheryl, the girl who got the pencil stuck in her ankle before I think starts acting like a zombie and then bites off her own hand, which creeped out Ashley and the other guy in the movie, Tom, so much that they decide to make swears at her and chop her up into small pieces even though it ruins the rug.
Not to be outdone, Ashley’s girlfriend Linda, who takes her top off earlier in the movie, decides to turn into a zombie too at this point only instead of stabbing anyone in the ankle with a #2 pencil or biting off her own hand, she just sits around mostly and talks in a seriously annoying voice that drives everyone so crazy that Ashley, who is usually pretty cool to her, punches her in the face like five times. She was being such a bitch. Also, Tom ends up dying right around this time.
By the end of the movie, everyone in the movie except for Ashley is dead and also a zombie and as a result Ashley’s vacation is totally ruined. He gets so mad he decides to cut the vacation short and no longer stay in that crazy cabin anymore. Then he tries to just put the whole thing behind him, but when the sun comes up in the morning and he goes outside a bunch of vines and branches start coming after him just like they did to Shelly earlier in the movie and the viewer is left to assume that Ashley is totally about to get banged by the woods. Now I bet he understands why Shelly just turned into a total bitch when that happened.
Tonight I am going to watch “The Evil Dead II” to see what happens. I bet after he gets raped by the woods, Ashley is going to be seriously mad and I don’t blame him. Trees can be major a-holes sometimes.
Jul
Posted on 18th July 2010
Attention Wonderful People of Ireland:
I am totally coming to your country and also my ancestral homeland, which is Ireland, for the Carlsberg Comedy Festival, which is in Dublin, one of the popular cities over there. Yeah, I know- I’m pretty excited about it too. For starters, this is my very first time performing in Ireland. I visited there once a long, long time ago, but it was before I was in show business so it doesn’t really count as far as I am concerned. Anyway, I am really looking forward to coming back with tighter pants and much better hair than before. I am doing two shows in Dublin. The first is on Saturday, July 24th at the Carlsberg Comedy Carousel at 7:30pm with the great David O’Doherty and Kevin Gidea. The second is on Sunday, July 25th at 8:30 pm at the Shack with the great Maeve Higgins and Gearoid Farrelly. After both shows I am hoping to get really drunk and try to make out with people, most of them in fact. Or maybe I will do something entirely predictable of me and also potentially embarrassing. But let’s focus on the shows- that’s what really matters here. If you live in Dublin or nearby, I totally hope you can make it to one or both of my shows as they will be incredible. Also, I have my own hotel room and everything so afterward we can head over to my place and fill up the tub with Jell-O or hamsters or whatever. Guess who hates rules. That’s right- me. The important thing is that we have a really, really nice time and get out of there before anyone really notices anything. You can get more info on some of the stuff I was just talking about, specifically my two shows, right here. Okay, I will see you in a few days. Brace yourself. I know I am.
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 16th July 2010
Hi there. Remember how I was just talking about how I have an incredible new podcast called Dave Hill’s Podcasting Incident? Oh, great. Well, in addition to being able to just go here to listen to it over and over again, you can now download it for free on iTunes and- as if all of that is not enough- you can even subscribe to it so it just automatically downloads to your iTunes every time I break out an incredible new episode. The first episode featuring my in-depth conversation with the lovely and talented Tig Notaro is up now and next few episodes featuring people like Dick Cavett, Moby, and Janeane Garofalo will be up over the next few weeks. Go subscribe now or I will cut myself. You can do it by clicking right here. And you should. Thanks! And Happy Friday.
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 16th July 2010
Christophe Szpajdel is an awesome artist specializing in killer metal and rock band logos. He even has a really cool book full of all his amazing work called “Lord of the Logos” that I totally need to get for around the house. I wrote him a while back to see if he would be up for doing a logo for Diamondsnake, my popular rock band with Moby, Phil Costello, and Tomato, and he totally kicked some ass and whipped up the awesome logo above. I love it. It’s kind of like art deco meets high school notebook. I look at it and I just start rocking, dammit.
As if all of that is not enough, another great artist by the name of Richard Bagh took Christophe’s Diamondsnake logo and did a “remix” of it that is totally above. It’s kind like the black light poster version of Christophe’s logo. I am thinking of moving into my parent’s basement I love it so much. Anyway, just thought I’d share these sweet logos with you. I hope you enjoy them so much.
Love (and metal),
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 14th July 2010
Hi. You know how everyone has a podcast now? Well, now I do too! As you can probably imagine, it’s pretty much the greatest podcast of all-time. This first episode features special guest Tig Notaro, one of the greatest comedians of all-time. My plan is to release a new episode each week. I am even hoping to get it on iTunes soon. I can’t be stopped. You can listen to it in the player above or go directly to the podcast website by clicking here. Please tell everyone you have ever met ever to listen to my incredible podcast too. Upcoming episodes will include showbiz legend Dick Cavett, whom I interviewed in his lovely Manhattan apartment yesterday, as well as Moby, Janeane Garofalo, Todd Barry, Ira Glass, and (hopefully) many, many more- but those are just a few of the people I have roped into things so far. Oh, also, I am just learning about how to properly record these things, so expect the sound quality to jump by leaps and bounds with each episode. For example, I have a cold in this first episode and now I don’t. So there’s that. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 13th July 2010
Hi there. Do you like Morrissey, the Smiths, and/or making out with people? Oh, great, because tomorrow night, which is to say Wednesday, July 14 at 8pm, I am going to be doing my futuristic, one-of-a-kind combination Smiths/Morrissey music/speed dating event I like to call “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now” (pretty clever of me, huh?) at Brooklyn’s best bar, the Black Rabbit, which is located right there in Brooklyn. Come and speed date or just come and listen to all of the best Smiths and Morrissey songs (which is to say pretty much all of them) while watching other people try to get lucky and/or busy in the bathroom. And there is lots of good stuff to drink and eat and stuff too. In short, it is a good example of a totally fun way to have yourself a nice time right here in New York City, a real city on the rise if you ask me. I am going to be sitting there in the corner playing the music, announcing whatever comes to mind, and also not paying for drinks. Come and say hello as I am a reasonably nice person who will not at any point try to stab you or anything. Those days are behind me as best I can tell. Okay, hope to see you tomorrow.
Love,
Dave Hill
Jul
Posted on 12th July 2010
Mondays- am I right or am I right? Anyway, it has been an action-packed few days full of this and that and assorted whanot. But first things first- I have a new favorite song and it is “Back in Your Head” by Tegan and Sara. The song came out a few years ago I guess but because of my on-the-go lifestyle I am just catching up with it. I was at my friend Rob’s house the other night eating stuff he had cooked on a grill with fire when all of a sudden this song came on and I was blown away by it’s awesomeness. It pretty much has everything I like about music in it minus a big heavy metal guitar solo, but I figure I could add that at home if I wanted to. And since getting into this song, I have been getting into all sorts of other Tegan and Sara songs and now I am totally a great big giant Tegan and Sara fan, maybe the biggest. A lot of people are wondering if this now means that I am a lesbian. Yes, it does. Anyway, Tegan and Sara are great so if you don’t already like them, you should totally start listening to them. I am going to start a fanzine dedicated to them and also ask my dad to drive me to go see them when they come to my town.
In other news, because I am a sad man prone to Googling myself in my weaker moments, I discovered a couple nice write-ups about me, Dave Hill on the Internet. Here is one that is a nice preview of my recent show at UCB in Los Angeles. And here is one that is a nice preview of my recent show at Mass MoCA in North Adams, Massachusetts this past Saturday night.
Speaking of Mass MoCA, I had a super blast performing there on Saturday. It was a full house, which was super exciting since I generally tend to wonder if anyone will come see me perform. I always worry that people will decide to stay home and watch their programs at the last minute. I imagine there are pills for this sort of thing. Anyway, the show was super fun. A really funny comedian named Mark Jagiello opened for me and then I went out and laid my art and privates on the line for about an hour before heading over to a nearby bar called the Mohawk, where I drank Michelob all night long, something I always thought only happened on TV commercials.
Before the show at Mass MoCA, I took a nap in my hotel room at the nearby Porches Inn, which was delightful. There is one room in the hotel that has a window in the bathroom that looks out on the hotel lobby so pretty much everyone in the hotel can look inside and see what is going on in that bathroom. As it turns out, that was the room I had. I gave everyone quite a show before I realized what was going on. Now we all have a secret. Then I went over to my dressing room and ate a pizza. This is the show business lifestyle.
Love,
Dave Hill
