Mar
Posted on 9th March 2012
Attention People of New York City:
Hi. How are you? I am incredible. Thanks so much for asking. Anyway, I was just writing to let you know that on Thursday, March 22 at 9:30pm, I will be putting on my pants and walking onstage over there at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre over there in Chelsea and breaking out my popular nightclub act the Dave Hill Explosion once again. As many of you who have been following my career from the very beginning are well aware, this will be my first Explosion in New York City in over ten months. Have I done it in other cities more recently? Sure. Did I make out with a lot of chicks in those cities before and after the show? Totally. But the important thing to remember is that I am finally bringing the show back to where it all started for the first time in a seriously long while so just, like, deal with it. I realize at this point that you are probably wondering why I haven’t done the show in such an unfathomably long time. The answer, as you can probably imagine, is complicated. For starters, I spent most of the past ten months having a series of painful and extremely dangerous yet ultimately-worth-it-in-my-opinion cosmetic procedures that rendered me unable to perform without the assistance of machines, unsightly gauze and tubing, as well as the assistance of one irritable and grossly overpaid Frenchman. Also, I was busy writing my first book and making sure it had enough swears in it. But anyway, what really matters is I am back like a motherf@#ker and ready to explode so much they are going to have to hose the place down afterwards and also call victim’s services and a bunch of other people too probably. In addition to all the usual incredible Explosion-related stuff, I am going to be doing a bunch of all-new incredible stuff too. And, course, I will have some incredible guests (I will announce them shortly. Calm down) and also be joined by my sidebitch Phil, his beard, and also my Minister of Information and Foam Carl Arnheiter. In short, I will be bringing you at least six bucks worth of enterainment for just five bucks. You really can’t lose on this one. You can and should reserve tickets for the show here. Okay, that about covers it. Now get out there and start living, you son of a bitch!
Love,
Dave Hill
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