May
Posted on 18th May 2010
Greetings from Wiesbaden. Wiesbaden is a town in Germany that I never knew existed but then the guys in the band told me were going to play in Wiesbaden and then my life was never the same again. Last night we played somewhere called the Schlachthof that was super fun despite being difficult to pronounce. The club let us order individual pizzas with the toppings of our choice, so as soon as we finished rocking we all totally got to sit around eating the delicious pizzas made to our exact specifications. I had mine with garlic, pepperoni, and some other bullshit. I really seemed to like it.
After we finished eating the pizzas and generally having a really nice time, we headed back to the hotel, which was really classy. Since I snore and also sleep with my balls out, the guys let me have my own room. Before I went to sleep though, I met Arthur in the lobby and we decided to hit the streets of Wiesbaden in search of good times all the time. We came up empty. The area of Wiesbaden we were staying in was dead quiet, the only sounds we heard being our footsteps and our sophisticated conversation. We turned it around and headed back to the classy hotel.
Back things up a bit not unlike in the hit movie “Memento,” the night before last we played in Bielefeld, another German town that sounded made up to me until we got there. I didn’t get to see much of Bielefeld but I will still say it seems quite delightful. The club we played at was underground, a bunker of sorts, so much in fact that it was called the Bunker Ulmenwall. It was a cool venue, with the band playing in the round and the audience standing on all sides. This gave me, Walter, and the rest of the guys in the band the chance to check out each other’s hot rock licks and tastefully assembled outfits. Everyone had a really nice time kicking everyone in the taint with our hot rock music.
After the show, we headed to some weird artist building with a giant apartment for us to stay in, complete with tons of food, beds, appliances, and other things rock bands in America would never be trusted with. Because I snore and also sleep with my balls out, the guys decided to give me my own room again, which was great for me. Also, there was enough toilet paper for everybody, something which is not to be underestimated.
Yesterday morning or so, we packed up from Bielefeld and made our way to Wiesbaden, the popular German town mentioned earlier. Along the way, we stopped off in Dortmund to maybe drop off some equipment and ultimately decide not to. We did all get to use the bathroom though, which is where I saw the sign above. I couldn’t make sense of it either. I decided to pee standing up in accordance with the prophecy and totally not let the sign mess with my head. After that, we went to a grocery store where I bought a delicious waffle of some sort. Then we kept on driving and driving while making swears and listening to loud rock music. This is the rock-n-roll lifestyle.
Auf wiedersehen,
Dave Hill
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