May
Posted on 15th May 2010
Hello…or should I say “Hallo!” because I am totally in Germany right now. I know- I can’t believe it either. Anyway, I am here on a rock tour playing the axe for the Walter Schreifels Band. We are playing eight shows in Germany, one in Austria, and one in Switzerland, all places I have never been before. I am pretty sure all the people who live in those places are really excited that I am coming. I can feel it. No one has thrown anything at my head yet.
So far, my time in Germany (two days) has not been the parade of women dressed like the girl on the St. Pauli girl beer bottle or dudes in lederhosen playing the accordion and generally having a really nice time while being surrounded by various large quantities of sausage-based foods. I have still been having a really delightful time though, drinking and eating stuff and not understanding much of what anyone is saying to me. I look like I could possibly be German though, so most people here tend to start talking to me in German until they see the tears of confusion start streaming down my face and they are forced to read to me from a dusty old story book about something that happened to some “kinder” a seriously long time ago in the woods or something. Also, people keep trying to take a crap on me. What is up with that?
Our first show was last night in Bremen, a popular German town I am told. It was really fun. I got to play the hot gold top Les Paul that the Gibson company in Berlin was nice enough to loan me for the tour. That is me totally standing there with the guitar in question above. I am supposed to give it back at the end of the tour and I am already struggling with that idea. Wrestling buffs might also like to know that the guy working at Gibson who hooked me up with the hot axe used to be a professional wrestler in the U.S., going by the name of Herman the German (true story). I was pretty excited about this. I asked hit me over the head with a folding chair or something but he didn’t seem into it. He has moved on and I need to move on too.
Today we are off to Hamburg, the popular German town named after the popular meat-based sandwich that we still talk about to this day. I am told Hamburg is pretty much good times all the time. I am hoping to get some “wasser mit gas” when I get there, which it turns out means “water with gas” only in German. It sounds like it is water that farts a lot or something, but it is actually just sparkling water. I find all of this endlessly entertaining because I am grown man who pays for things with his own money (usually). I will keep you updated on all of the above very soon. Brace yourselves.
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