Mar
Posted on 11th March 2010
Against all odds, I have just returned home from a cruise. I guess the returning part wasn’t against all odds, but just the going on a cruise in general part. You never think you are the kind of guy who would go on a cruise and then it happens and next thing you know you are totally the kind of guy who goes on a cruise. Anyway, here’s what happened…
My buddy Hal Sparks was going on something called the Progressive Voices cruise as one of the speakers along with Rachel Maddow, Ron Reagan, David Bender, Lizz Winstead, Pete McCloskey, Cary Harrison, and several other wonderful folks. I was invited along to provide some positive vibes, an air of menace, and exquisite table manners. And I also got to do standup on the top floor of the boat, which was really wobbly and stuff but I didn’t throw up or anything until later.
As part of all of the above, there were lots of interesting panels and discussions, etc. featuring people whose brains I am jealous of and lovely dinners where I got to order whatever I wanted and no one could stop me. One night I even grabbed this one lady’s shrimp cocktail out of her hand and ate it right in front of her because I am a Z-list celebrity. What could she do? That’s right- nothing. In an unrelated incident, I was also covered in algae and electrically shocked for an hour straight. You never see that sort of thing coming.
Aside from all the stuff that happened on the boat, I got to go to the popular country of Mexico a little, specifically Mazatlan for breakfast and lunch one day and then Puerto Vallarta for breakfast the day after that before I had to head back to New York City to focus on taking the world and also doing laundry. Generally speaking, Mexico was Mexcellent. I’d like to go back sometime and see some of the towns not featured on most episodes of “Love Boat,” though those were really great too.
Now I am back on dry land. I still feel the boat rocking back and forth even though I am just sitting here in my apartment with no pants on. I wonder how long it will take for that to go away, the rocking part I mean. Or maybe I just need to get back out on the water. The sea- she is a cruel mistress but I just can’t stay mad at her.
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