Sep
Posted on 10th September 2009
Attention People of New York City:
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that next Thursday, Sept. 17 at 9:30pm at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre over there in Chelsea, I will be ending what critics are already calling a “three-month break” and once again breaking out another installment of my incredible nightclub act the Dave Hill Explosion. As you can probably imagine, I and a lot of other people are really excited about it, especially the critics, who are already calling it “a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Thursday evening, especially if you are on a budget and/or have already seen both Wicked and the Color Purple and would just rather not be alone right now, especially after everything that’s happened.” But let’s talk about that date, September 17, for a second. Microbiology buffs will no doubt recognize it as the very date in 1683 that scientist Antonie van Leeuwenhoek wrote a crazy ass letter to the Royal Society describing “animalcules”, the first known description of protozoa. And, of course, football fans will no doubt recognize it as the date in 1920 that the National Football League was founded in Canton, Ohio. Duh. Anyway, in honor of both of things I will be preceding my show by marching down Fifth Avenue starting at 57th Street starting at noon that day while dancing a sexy dance I like to call “The Funky Protozoa” and dressed exactly like football great Fran Tarkenton (it’s mostly in the hair and the blazer). And then I’ll do the show, which will consist of all sorts of really great things I have cooked up in my spare time, including but not limited to this one thing I can’t get into right now that involves a blowtorch, a can of ordinary lighter fluid, a hair dryer, bacon strips, a bag of human hair, a milk crate (metal this time), a volunteer from the audience, and the fire department. You won’t believe it. As if all of that is not enough, I will be joined on my show by such incredible guests as comedian, actor, radio host, and so much more Janeane Garofalo; costume designer and Project Runway favorite Chris March; legendary emo-rockers Bronte’s Inferno; and a special surprise thingy that I can’t tell you because it’s a surprising surprise. And, of course, my sidebitch Phil will be there in all his mysterious, creepy, and exceptionally bearded glory. All of this for just five dollars. I know- it’s like I’m Mother Theresa or something only with much better outfits and a lot less whining. Anyway, I really hope you can make it. The odds of anything going wrong in that crowded and cramped little basement aren’t very good at all. You can get tickets right here.
Love,
Dave Hill
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