May
Posted on 14th May 2009
As you can probably imagine, I have just returned from yet another killer workout. I have been skipping the gym lately and working out like a motherfucker on the pier near 14th Street and the West Side Highway. It feels grittier to me, especially since the chances of being raped there are slightly higher than if I go to the New York Sports Club. To be fair, I think the chances of me being raped at the New York Sports Club aren’t very good unless I go in the steam room and profess my love of good times all the time. So far this hasn’t happened. You never know though, you never know. I am unpredictable, even to myself.
My killer workout regimen of late has involved running a little bit, which was advised to me by my friend Sam Bisbee, who claims it will really whip me into shape like a motherf@#ker, which is kind of the plan. I have also been jumping rope a little bit too, which was advised to me by my friend Sandra Bauleo, the super funny comedy person whom you should all know about, who said even three minutes of jumping rope a day will make me a more attack-ready person. Actually, she didn’t mention the attack-ready part, but one can only assume that’s what she meant.
Anyway, now it’s time to hit the showers, where- if I know myself at all- I will probably end up raping myself. Here’s to living.
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