Apr
Posted on 6th April 2009
Yesterday, I went to Duane Reade, the popular Manhattan drug store chain where- no matter how many times I go there- I can never find what I’m looking for (It’s me, Duane Reade, not you). Anyway, as I was making my last lap around the place, I happened to notice this big steaming pile of crap next to the pharmacy counter. It was so fresh I could feel the steam on my face. Moments before this discovery, I saw a guy with a dog on a leash walking out of the store all like “Thank you, have a great day!” It’s hard to believe he didn’t notice that his dog took a big crap on the floor, you know, since the dog was on a leash and presumably no more than two feet away from him at any point during his to Duane Reade, where I am a proud member of the Dollar Rewards Club. The part of me that hates people who don’t take responsibility for shit (literally, in this case) got a tiny bit angry about the whole thing. But then the part of me that loves dogs and thinks it’s funny when they take craps where they’re not supposed to quickly won over and I just smiled really big and took this photo. I tried to get a close-up shot but then I thought the pharmacy lady would think I was with the health department or something. And- as long as we’re on the topic- it just killed me that the dog didn’t take a crap in an actual aisle of the store because then I couldn’t say “Clean-up on aisle six!” Man, that would have been awesome. When will I ever get that chance again? Dammit.
In a related story, also during my visit to Duane Reade yesterday, I happened upon these earplugs that are specifically made for ladies. They come in a really feminine hot pink color and everything. I think it’s really great that a product like this finally exists. I had a female friend who wore totally regular earplugs once and now everyone thinks she is a total lesbo. Too bad she didn’t know about these- the earplugs that let everyone know you’re a lady. Now she is going to die alone after a lifetime of being hit on by lesbians who completely got the wrong idea about her. Life is cruel.
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