Mar
Posted on 4th March 2009
Last night was “Tennis Night in America.” A lot of people probably went through their whole day and turned in for the night without even realizing it. But not me- I lived it by going to Madison Square Garden and seeing the BNP Paribas Showdown for the Billie Jean King Cup, a mini tennis tournament featuring Venus Williams, Serena Willaims, Jelena Jankovic, and Ana Ivanovic, four professional tennis players I would totally make out with.
Anyway, a lot of people might say that tennis is a game in which two people stand on opposite sides of a net and hit a ball back and forth to each other while wearing some really great outfits. I might say that too, but last night tennis was a lot more than just that, partially because tennis great Billie Jean King was there wearing a cool green jacket and partially because I was kind of drunk. The important thing though is that I got to go to a fancy party beforehand where they served cupcakes frosted to look just like tennis balls. It was incredible.
As much as I hate to play favorites between tennis greats, I have to admit I was pretty much rooting for Venus Williams the whole night so I was pretty excited when she and her little sister Serena totally ended up playing in the finals for the fancy trophy and money and stuff. Unfortunately, #1 seeded Serena ended up winning though and I was forced to cry myself to sleep after all. I can’t imagine it was much easier for Venus, who should have won based on her outfit alone.
After the match, I headed over to a nearby Irish bar to meet up with the great Stone and Stone, whom you no doubt remember from the hit TV program “Last Comic Standing.” We had a lovely time together and even managed to meet some actual Irish girls who were visiting New York from Ireland and- against all odds- ended up hanging out in the Irish bar across from their hotel. One of the girls asked me to “snog,” which I found out is Irish for “making out.” I declined but I have to say I couldn’t blame her for wanting a piece of this- after all, I am a tennis expert and as everyone knows tennis experts bag chicks. Just ask Bud Collins.
In other news, above is a guitar made to look like a young girl (only it is a guitar). What- are you kidding me? I love it. Can you blame me? Yeah, me neither.
And finally, here is my hot rock band Valley Lodge doing a cover of Bob Welch’s “Sentimental Lady.” I hope you like it a whole bunch. The original is great. If we have managed even good with this one, I will consider it a victory (Oh, who am I kidding? It’s incredible).
Dave Hill
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