Mar
Posted on 4th March 2009
Last night was “Tennis Night in America.” A lot of people probably went through their whole day and turned in for the night without even realizing it. But not me- I lived it by going to Madison Square Garden and seeing the BNP Paribas Showdown for the Billie Jean King Cup, a mini tennis tournament featuring Venus Williams, Serena Willaims, Jelena Jankovic, and Ana Ivanovic, four professional tennis players I would totally make out with.
Anyway, a lot of people might say that tennis is a game in which two people stand on opposite sides of a net and hit a ball back and forth to each other while wearing some really great outfits. I might say that too, but last night tennis was a lot more than just that, partially because tennis great Billie Jean King was there wearing a cool green jacket and partially because I was kind of drunk. The important thing though is that I got to go to a fancy party beforehand where they served cupcakes frosted to look just like tennis balls. It was incredible.
As much as I hate to play favorites between tennis greats, I have to admit I was pretty much rooting for Venus Williams the whole night so I was pretty excited when she and her little sister Serena totally ended up playing in the finals for the fancy trophy and money and stuff. Unfortunately, #1 seeded Serena ended up winning though and I was forced to cry myself to sleep after all. I can’t imagine it was much easier for Venus, who should have won based on her outfit alone.
After the match, I headed over to a nearby Irish bar to meet up with the great Stone and Stone, whom you no doubt remember from the hit TV program “Last Comic Standing.” We had a lovely time together and even managed to meet some actual Irish girls who were visiting New York from Ireland and- against all odds- ended up hanging out in the Irish bar across from their hotel. One of the girls asked me to “snog,” which I found out is Irish for “making out.” I declined but I have to say I couldn’t blame her for wanting a piece of this- after all, I am a tennis expert and as everyone knows tennis experts bag chicks. Just ask Bud Collins.
In other news, above is a guitar made to look like a young girl (only it is a guitar). What- are you kidding me? I love it. Can you blame me? Yeah, me neither.
And finally, here is my hot rock band Valley Lodge doing a cover of Bob Welch’s “Sentimental Lady.” I hope you like it a whole bunch. The original is great. If we have managed even good with this one, I will consider it a victory (Oh, who am I kidding? It’s incredible).
Dave Hill
Mar
Posted on 2nd March 2009
Mondays. Do not even get me started on this topic. In one week exactly (almost down to the minute), I leave for Japan. I’m pretty excited and am still not sure what to wear. Do I dress for comfort or visual impact? I’ve been finding lately that velvet does the trick in both departments so maybe I’ll just go that route. A good lint brush and I should be good to go.
In other news, a couple days ago, I received a nice e-mail from a man by the name of “Mr. Blowhard,” who wrote something really nice about me on his website. I don’t agree with him, but I am really happy he wrote it. It’s this sort of thing that keeps me from cutting myself (as much).
Last night, I guest hosted (filling in for the excellent Eugene Mirman) the popular Tearing the Veil of Maya show at Union Hall over there in Park Slope. It was a packed house and a great bill with Reggie Watts, Michael Showalter, Jon Glaser, and Todd Barry. I hope I didn’t stink the joint up too much. No one pelted me with anything though, so I guess I will put it in the win column. After the show, I sat around and chatted and drank stuff while contemplating the wonders of indoor bocce ball from afar. Like darts, I don’t have the patience for it myself, but it looks like folks enjoy it so I am all for it.
From the world of incredible music, here is a new video of my friend Alessi playing a song called “Dancing Feet.” Her album comes out next month. Go buy it or I’ll stab you.
And finally, the Cool Guitar Alert for today goes to the Ibanez Reverse Iceman (or Fireman I think it might also be called). It was the great Paul Gilbert’s idea. He flipped a regular Iceman over in Photoshop and- him being Paul Gilbert and all- Ibanez went ahead and made it for him. I have a couple regular Iceman guitars from the ‘70s and I love them. I wish one of these Reverse Iceman guitars would somehow come into my possession (I mean, after all, I am a Z-list celebrity. Come on!), but it looks like the limited version is selling for almost $10,000. Whoa. I guess I will just have to admire it from afar. Or learn to play my regular version lefthanded. I’m not ruling it out.
Dave Hill
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