Feb
Posted on 17th February 2009
It’s been an action-packed past few days. Last night, I opened up for Carl Arnheiter’s excellent “Inside Joke” show at UCB. His guest last night was Janeane Garofalo, who was awesome. I wish the show could have gone for longer as they were having a nice and very interesting chat. After the show, a handful of us went and drank stuff at a nearby bar and then ended up at Corner Bistro for too-late hamburgers, fries, and more beer, a decision I kinda, sorta regret as of this writing.
In other news, this past weekend I saw “Gran Torino” and the new “Friday the 13th” movie. It’s a tough call but I have to give the “better movie” award to “Gran Torino” on this one. Clint Eastwood was awesome and- holy shit!- he’s 78 already! How did that happen? He’s still a badass though. But what did you expect? My lovely friend Geraldine Hughes was excellent in the movie too. I like seeing friends in movies. It makes me want to yell and clap at the screen, almost like I’m seeing “Friday the 13th” or something.
And speaking of “Friday the 13th,” the new one is pretty solid (trailer above). Kids on pot, naked chicks, guys getting hit in the face with machetes- it pretty much has everything. Run- don’t walk- to the theater to see this movie. Unless you are Jason Voorhees, of course, in which case you can just walk to the theater and still somehow get there faster than anyone who might be running as fast as they can. I could have handled a few more creative killings in the new one (Jason zipping one of his victims up in their sleeping bag and whacking them against a tree in “Friday the 13th: Part 6”- I think it was anyway- is pretty much as good as it gets), but other than that I can’t really complain. I mean, I wouldn’t have minded if one of the girls in the movie had decided to take a shower at a really inconvenient time for no apparent reason, but I’ll never really get enough of that sort of thing. I’m a purist.
In other news, the other day I saw this sign in the window of a restaurant in Chinatown. Note the top dish- hot dog and minced beef with spaghetti. Sounds like someone is trying to clear out the fridge. Then again, it does sound kind of delicious. “Mmmm- you can really taste the hot dog!”
Finally, I read this disturbing news item today- GQ has named Justin Timberlake the most stylish man in America. Come on. I mean seriously- come on! If history has taught us anything, it’s that Justin Timberlake has no style whatsoever and simply just wears whatever someone tells him too. See above. Case closed. Paul F. Tompkins and I can take Timberlake in the style department without even getting out of bed (separate beds! I don’t mean that in any creepy sort of way. Sheesh). But I have to admit, the top spot goes to this man, NYC dandy-about-town Patrick McDonald:
I honestly don’t know how he does it. He’s like a white Andre 3000 or something. Kudos, sir. It has been noted.
Feb
Posted on 15th February 2009
The popular Time Out New York came to make a video at my first Smiths/speed dating night at the Black Rabbit and that is what the above video is about. They left out the part where a bunch of chicks totally tried to make out with me.
In other news, here is a thing I co-wrote for GQ.com about “Songs to Get Busy to.” It’s a musical guide to banging and stuff. Yeah.
Feb
Posted on 14th February 2009
Attention People of New York City:
Hello. It’s Dave Hill again. From before. Anyway, as many of you know, I just can’t stop rocking. It’s actually kind of ridiculous. And keeping all of that mind, my unstoppable rock band Valley Lodge is going to be rocking like a storm system characterized by a large low pressure center and numerous thunderstorms that produce strong winds and flooding rain this Tuesday, February 17 at 8:30pm at Union Hall in Park Slope (located at 702 Union Street @ 5th Ave, right there in the heart of it all). It is really going to be something. This will be our last full-on domestic appearance before our tour of Japan next month (I am not even making this up either. We are seriously going to play shows in Japan next month. I know- I can’t believe it either). We are going to be playing all the old hits plus some of the new hits from the new album we just finished. And speaking of rocking, right after we get done rocking, the rocking rock bands Family Time and Anamaguchi will then commence rocking (though not at the same time- that would be silly). Come on out and witness the rocking if you can. There are bocce ball courts upstairs if at some point you’re all like “Eh, I get it. Text me if you’re leaving.” In case you would like to make sure that we don’t suck or anything before committing to attending this event, you can check out some of our hot rock music at our MySpace page or our website on the Internet. And you can check out our Japanese album here. Everything is in Japanese. That sh*t is crazy. And here we are rocking a couple years ago at Fontana’s. We were just kids then:
Dave Hill Rocks from marianne on Vimeo.
Dave Hill
Feb
Posted on 13th February 2009
It has come to my attention that I have been nominated for an ECNY Award (a comedy-related award having to do with New York City) in the category of “Best Variety Show” for my Dave Hill Explosion show. As you can probably imagine, I will most likely kill or- at the very least- cut myself if I don’t win this award. If you would like to help avoid either of these things happening, you can go vote for me here, you know, if you want. If I win I am going to have a big parade in which I ride down Fifth Avenue in a white convertible with the top down and former New York City mayors Ed Koch and David Dinkins sitting on either side of me. We will start way uptown and ride all the way down to Washington Square, where will get out briefly and bang a bottle of champagne against that big arch thing. Then we will get back in the car and head back uptown for a big fancy dinner at my favorite restaurant, Mickey Mantle’s. We will all have the scrod and at least five Screwdrivers each. Then it’s back to Koch’s place for cigars, pokers, and old VHS tapes of the Westminster Dog Show. We love that.
Feb
Posted on 13th February 2009
Sweet jams from a sweet band. Get your day started right with some Thin Lizzy in their original power trio formation right now.
Feb
Posted on 12th February 2009
In a concerted effort to be topical, I just wanted to say that even though he’s not in the movie, I’m still pretty convinced Joaquin Phoenix’s Letterman appearance last night was some cool promotion for the new hit movie “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” but that’s mostly because I can’t wait to see the new hit movie “Confessions of a Shopaholic,” what I am expecting to be the best “fish out of water” story since “Legally Blonde” and/or “Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde.” Run- don’t walk- to see this movie!
Feb
Posted on 11th February 2009
What with Valentine’s Day, the popular romance holiday, being just a few days away and all, I thought I’d use it as an excuse to post my obscure “Love Report” video that I made last year or so for SuperDeluxe.com (R.I.P.). It’s now up on YouTube so 13 year-olds can let me know how fat and gay I am in the comments section. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it a whole bunch. You can also go watch it over here on this great webmag type thing, Smoke Signals.
And here is a quick blast of the great Pee-Wee Herman to help you get your day started right. He remains a god among men.
Feb
Posted on 11th February 2009
Hi there. My rock band Valley Lodge has added one of our new rock songs, “When The Rain Comes,” to our MySpace page for your streaming pleasure. It is the third song on the player there (but you can read). I hope you enjoy it so much. All we have to do now is master the new album and then it will be ready for, you know, um, whatever.
Dave Hill
Feb
Posted on 10th February 2009
The plague-like symptoms continue now for what I believe to be the third, possibly even fourth day and simply cannot shutup about it. I just went out for coffee and other morning stuff and returned home to find my fifth floor walk-up apartment had somehow turned into at least a seventh or eighth floor walk-up apartment. What if someone has to come retrieve the body?
Last night, I crawled over to my neighborhood Chinese restaurant for some soup and dumplings (NOTE: That is not the actual soup I ate above, but merely an artist’s rendering), thinking it might help my cold and also because I was, you know, kind of hungry. Everything went reasonably smoothly, except for the fact that a few spoonfuls into my soup, I discovered a hair (not mine) mixed in with the curried chicken and noodles. I simply removed it and kept on eating. Does this make me a) easygoing, b) a pushover, or c) disgusting? I’m not sure really. Thoughts? The way I figure it, the hair is probably the least of my worries considering everything that’s gone into making that bowl of soup for me (you know, from the slaughterhouse to my table and all). Am I right or am I right? Or am I disgusting? I will let the people decide.
Anyway, aside from possibly dying soon, I have been up to all the usual stuff mostly it seems. Tomorrow, I have my (hopefully) wildly popular “CBS/NYC Presents ‘Dave Hill’s Madea Goes to Jail’™” show over there at the UCB Theatre and then Thursday it’s over to the Black Rabbit for “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now,” the futuristic night of Smiths music and speed dating I thought up in my spare time. It’s really going to be something. I can feel it.
In other news, here is Morrissey performing “Something Is Squeezing My Skull” on Jimmy Kimmel a few days ago. I like how he gives a shout-out to Lux Interior at the end. Morrissey’s new album “Years of Refusal” is out next week on Tuesday, February 17, the same day my rock band Valley Lodge– in a completely unrelated incident- plays at Union Hall in Park Slope. Lots of excitement that day, at least for me anyway.
Feb
Posted on 9th February 2009
Mondays- am I right or am I right? I am battling mild-to-mildly severe plague-like symptoms that I am blaming partially on my on-the-go lifestyle and partially on my penchant for licking subway poles. No, ha, ha- I don’t really like subway poles. Can you imagine? That’s crazy. Like, lock-you-up crazy (which is pretty crazy).
Anyway, this Saturday I attended New Comic Con 2009 at the Jacob Javits Center. This was my fifth Comic Con (third in NYC and I’ve been twice in San Diego), which had me attending at least four more Comic Cons than I ever thought I would attend in my lifetime. And something tells me I might not be done either. This time around, I was covering the whole thing for Cinemax, the popular premium cable television network that brings you all sorts of popular movies, some of which have naked chicks in them.
Recent studies indicate that roughly 99% of all Comic Con attendees are just a little too into it and this one was no different. But- also like all the other Comic Cons- this one was really fun (and strange and weird-smelling). I saw two 8-foot tall Chewbaccas (or “16 feet of loser” as my friend David described them, which was kinda mean but also really funny) walking around together, which was pretty impressive. I wondered how they get to do much other than walk around and freak people out, but I guess that’s pretty much the whole point. It worked. I also met Unemployed Skeletor, a personal favorite from the day.
I interviewed a bunch of folks at Comic Con, including the creator and one of the stars of the new Cinemax sci-fi/nudie series Forbidden Science, neither of whom seemed to like me all that much (That’s the chick I met above. She is naked on cable!). I also finally got to meet the great Tom Scharpling in person finally on my way to the bathroom, which was nice.
Like all the other Comic Cons, I did buy a couple little things at the end to at least have something other than that weird smell in my suit to prove that I was there. This time around I bought a little Kubrick bear and a Moofia figure. I got the little baby bottle above (NOTE: You can’t pick- it’s a surprise which one is in the little carton it comes in). I was kind of hoping to get the Leche milk carton, which has bull horns, presumably speaks Spanish, and is much cooler than the baby bottle in general (No offense, baby bottle. I like you too, but come on! A Spanish-speaking carton of milk with bull horns? That’s a game-changer).
Something I almost bought at Comic Con was the Misfits throw pillow above. I thought it was pretty adorbs. In the end, however, I decided against it because I thought it might make me seem like an aging hipster (which I guess I kinda, sorta am when it gets right down to it). Who knows- maybe I’ll break down and get it via mail order. All my other throw pillows make me just seem pretty gay (which I’m not! Let’s be clear on this!) and I don’t let that bother me. Why should I worry about having a throw pillow that makes it look like I am desperately clinging to my youth? I just think it’s a cool pillow, alright? Stop yelling at me! It’s not like I show up at your place and start judging you for all the crap you’ve got lying around!
Okay, I am done fighting with you.
In other news, last night my friend Jeff hipped me to this website that instantly baconizes whatever website you want it to. For example, here is the baconized version of this page. Pretty great, right? I know. If there is something on this earth that doesn’t go better with a little bacon, I am completely unaware of it.
Alright, I have to get back to whatever it is that I supposedly do all day.
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