Dec
Posted on 17th December 2008
Attention People of New York City:
Hello. This is that guy Dave Hill again writing to remind you one last time that TOMORROW, December 18 at 9:30pm at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, located in the heart of New York City’s can-do Chelsea neighborhood, I will be touching hearts, minds, and at times even my own privates during a little something I like to call the Dave Hill Explosion a/k/a the show that makes “Wicked” look like a goddamn kindergarten talent show at a school where all the kids are, like, not really all that talented, even for little kids. I know a lot of shows this time of year make promises of being a “Holiday Spectacular” or some such thing. And while the holidays (all of them) will occasionally be hinted at, alluded to, and at times even directly referenced throughout the night, I can assure you that my show will ultimately be a letdown when it comes to matters of the holidays (some of them). However, if you would like to see a show that will deliver to you one solid hour of entertainment so staggering that it will make you want to have intercourse sex with me or even anyone simply standing near me then, well, you are really gonna like this show I am totally going to be putting on tomorrow night. As for the intercourse sex, however, I make no promises as I am a busy man. Anyway, I really hope you can come to my show tomorrow night. Aside from all the heat I will bringing on my own without even trying, I will be joined tomorrow by rock great A.C. Newman a/k/a Carl Newman from the great Canadian rock group the New Pornographers, celebrity psychic (which is to say a psychic who traffics in celebrities) John Cohan, and a third surprise guest whom you will no doubt find to be both surprising and guestlike in nature (not Lil’ John nor Lil’ Wayne, as rumored on the pages of Smooth). And, of course, to my right, left, and sometimes directly behind and/or in front of me will be my mysterious bearded sidebitch Phil, who is from parts unknown but maintains an undisclosed local residence. Join us, won’t you? It is just five bucks, which is not so much really. “Does this ticket come with a time machine to 1978? Because I cannot believe how little I have paid for it,” you will be saying to yourself upon entry. Ha! Can you imagine? You can get tickets right here.
Love,
Dave Hill
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