Apr
Posted on 1st April 2008
Hello again. Well, unfortunately I write today to confirm rumors that have been swirling around the Scandinavian press for some time now- my wildly popular television program “The King of Miami with Dave Hill”, which has thus far been coming to you in the futuristic high-definition format on the popular Mojo Network, has officially been cancelled. Yes, cancelled. Now just let that sink in for a moment. Okay, anyway this news comes as quite a blow both to me and the roughly five to six loyal viewers of my incredible television program (You know who you are and I know who you are and- dammit- I thank you for your viewing dedication) who stuck with me through all six spine-tingling episodes. The good news though is that you can continue to watch episodes of my incredible program on Hulu, a futuristic web portal that most people can’t even handle. I urge you to go there now and start watching my program while thinking to yourself “Are you fucking kidding me? Someone actually cancelled this program? What kind of world do we live in? Honey, hand me the knife- I am going to fucking kill myself.” But wait, hold up a second- don’t kill yourself. Mourn the death of my incredible television program, sure, but don’t do anything crazy. I will be back on television again soon (I promise you!) with another equally if not even more incredible yet obscure television program in the very near future (meaning before either of us dies. Okay, well, maybe before I die). You’re welcome in advance. I’m just trying to do my part.
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