Apr
Posted on 2nd April 2008
I am not a stoner myself (I know, not that there’s anything wrong with that), but my friend Shirley Halperin is and the new book she wrote with her fellow former High Times editor Steve Bloom (also presumably a total stoner person) has totally got me thinking about becoming a total stoner so much that it’s not even fucking funny. I mean, I probably won’t just because everyone always thinks I’m stoned all the time anyway for some reason and I’m not sure if I want to find out what would happen if I were actually stoned all the time (Who’s got that kind of time when you’re trying to take over the world?), but either way their new book “Pot Culture: The A-Z Guide to Stoner Language and Life” is fun to read and look at and (I’m guessing) sit around and smoke pot in the presence of (yes, I know it’s bad to end a sentence with the word “of.” Shut up! Imagine what crazy grammatical shit I would be breaking out if I were all stooooooned, you god damn stoner!).
NOTE: I realize you might be thinking at this point that I am just promoting this book because my friend wrote it and to that I say “Fuck you! You cynic!” Wait, wait, that’s too harsh. Why am I yelling at you? You seem so nice and you’re here, here reading my blog, something that wasn’t even possible not too long ago (back in the ’90s).
Anyway, for starters the book has a cool cover (above). It will look nice sitting on your coffee table, nightstand, or toilet (basically wherever you might want to keep a book, it will look seriously good there). Also, it will let people know that this whole pot thing isn’t just some “phase” or whatever. This book lets people know that you are in it for the long haul. You bought a book about it for chrissakes! It is a regular part of your life. It’s like if tennis great John McEnroe bought a book about tennis or if I bought a book about banging hot chicks all the time or something- it just makes perfect sense.
Anyway, this book has a forward by Tommy Chong (the Chong in Cheech and Chong, arguably the most famous stoners of the 20th century), blunt-rolling lessons from the popular rapper Redman, and even an interview with the elusive Matthew McConaughey, the greatest actor of our time. I argue with confidence that no other publication of any sort has ever had these three things in it at the same time. In short, this book is from the future. And statistically speaking, you are probably on drugs of some sort so I really have no understanding of why you wouldn’t buy this book. In fact, if you don’t buy this book fuck you! Now you’ve really gone and pissed me off. You are totally lucky you’re not sitting in my apartment right now because I would totally kick you in the nuts if you were (unless you were a woman, of course, in which case I would simply tell you I liked your hair much better before you cut it or something. I would never physically hurt you. I am a classy guy).
For more info on this book of great importance, go here. And with any luck, when this book goes into a second printing they will totally quote me from this incredible review, which is why I would like to close with the following: This ain’t your mother’s book about pot! (See how I did that? I am an infinitely quotable human being. You’re welcome).
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