Feb
Posted on 13th February 2008
Attention Citizens Of The Internet:
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that on Thursday, February 21 at 9:30pm, I will be further cementing my place in the history books with yet another public display of the one-man nutkicking machine I have consistently been calling the Dave Hill Explosion for roughly two years and three months now (and with no signs of stopping myself from calling it that anytime soon either). As hinted at in my font choice for this letter (Geneva to the untrained eye, but- upon closer inspection- so much more), I am pretty excited about it too. Not only is this my first Explosion of 2008 (besides the one I recently performed for Sheltie Now!, which I am not counting for tax reasons), but it will also mark my first public appearance since my full and dramatic recovery from the highly invasive microdermabrasion procedure I am planning on having just days before the show assuming my coupon will still be honored (consider this your heads up, Spa Belles). More importantly, however, my show on February 21 will easily be the greatest thing that has ever happened outside of Mexico City (a town not to be messed with). I’ve really got this one dialed in- there will be lights, magic, gunplay, and Crunk Energy Drink (F#@k you, Red Bull! I thought my offer was perfectly reasonable. But I guess it’s Crunktinis for everyone from now on! See you in the clearance aisle, f@#kers!) specials throughout the first fifteen minutes of the show. As if all of that is not enough, I will also be having the lovely and talented Amy Sedaris as a guest on my show that night and then maybe even another guest besides her. All of this and more for just five dollars. I know- I cannot believe it either. I would swear this must be 1942 or something but then I would not be typing on this computer or wearing this tight silver jumpsuit. Also, I would probably have a mustache and one of those leather visors (sorry, that is just how I see the 1942 me). And let’s not forget that on or around this very day in 1942, a flotilla (look it up) of Kriegsmarine (look that up too. I mean, you’re already looking up flotilla, so just keep going! The answer is just pages away!) ships dashed from Brest (I had to look this up) through the English Channel to northern ports and the British failed to sink a single one of them. Just days later Singapore surrendered to Japanese forces in a move that many still refer to as that one time Singapore surrendered to Japanese forces in 1942. Now why don’t you just think about all of that for a second and then start living in the now!? Crocs aside, we’ve really got it pretty good. Anyway, I really hope you can come to my show. I have been working really hard on it. I made a flyer and everything. You can reserve tickets at no advance cost to you or anyone you love at ucbt.net.
Love,
Dave Hill
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