May
Posted on 8th May 2007
Here is a song I discovered on Brooklyn Vegan last night during another sleepless night of battling plague-like symptoms. It’s by Type O Negative, a band I historically could have gone either way on. But this song, ”I Don’t Wanna Be Me” from their “Life Is Killing Me” album is pretty unstoppable. Anyway, I hope you like it. It’s really catchy and probably fun to listen to while driving around town.
In other music news, I have been listening to “Mic City Sons” by Heatmiser, Elliot Smith’s old band, a lot the past few days. It comes Dave recommended.
May
Posted on 7th May 2007
Here is a video of Dinosaur Jr. playing “Almost Ready” from their new album “Beyond” on Letterman last week. I missed it the first time around, but thanks to the magic of the Internet I can watch it over and over again. I hope you like it. It’s pretty inspiring. Lots of shredding too, which is always good. Dave seemed to like it too but didn’t walk over to shake their hands at the end. I guess he is getting lazy in his old age. He is still the man though in my opinion, so I forgive him.
May
Posted on 7th May 2007
I have been experiencing plague-like symptoms for the past six days now. I think it is the flu or something not unlike the flu. I am enjoying the weight loss but the puking and other stuff is not so much fun after the initial thrill has warn off. I am a walking miracle. I could go at any time.
In other news, I would like to remind you that my incredible television program “The King of Miami with Dave Hill” debuts tonight on the futuristic MOJO network at 9:30pm. I hope folks like it. The media blitz is under way. Earlier this morning, I did a radio interview with WNCX, the classic rock station in Cleveland. Being from Cleveland and all, I was looking forward to it and hoped it would go well. Unfortunately, it went pretty horribly. I’m not really cut out for the high-energy morning zoo type radio setting and they got rid of me pretty quickly. My sister called to let me know that they trash talked me for a while afterwards, saying how they would never watch my show, etc. My sister also said she thinks they didn’t understand the way I talk (slower than most people, I’m told) and were confused and maybe thought I was stoned or something. Oh well, I guess that’s how it goes sometimes. Oh, and also they can suck my massive balls.
In still other news, I have spent the past couple weeks shooting a web series with the excellent sketch group Dutch West for Tribeca Productions, the company owned by the “Meet The Fockers” guy. It was tons of fun. I played an English guy, which was a stretch for me, being a Cleveland guy and all, but I did my best. A couple days of the shoot were spent in and around Woodstock, New York, where I happened upon a pile of discarded road cases once used by Todd Rundgren during his Utopia period. Apparently the guy whose tour bus we were renting for the shoot (the shorts are about a punk rock band) used to work for Todd (presumably at his peak, since there were shitloads of these road cases and they were huge). There was something nice about being around Todd Rundgren’s road cases. I felt safe for some reason, like everything was going to be okay. Thanks, Todd.
Later on the same day I happened upon the Todd Rundgren road cases, I happened upon a shitload of radiators wrapped in heavy plastic and labeled “Canada.” It kind of blew my mind. Were the radiators from Canada or were they going to Canada? And why were there so many of them? The mind boggles.
Okay, I am going back to having the flu. More updates on assorted subject matters later.
May
Posted on 3rd May 2007
Yeah! Go buy it.
May
Posted on 2nd May 2007
Hello. This is your man Dave Hill writing to let you know that this coming Monday (which ends up being May 7, 2007), a television show starring me and my friend Phil Costello (in the role of “Phil”) called “The King of Miami with Dave Hill” is totally going to be on television for the very first time at 9:30pm on the futuristic new television network Mojo, which comes to you in the futuristic high-definition television format (which is really, really something and even sometimes overwhelming). If you ever see those bus and taxi ads for the television version of the Howard Stern Show, Mojo is the channel that that show is totally on. There- I have put it in perspective for you (and also hopefully given more legitimacy to me and my television program by putting both in context with someone much more famous than me. This kind of insecurity is not uncommon in my industry, which is the industry of show business). Also, it has come to my attention that I myself am on one of those taxi ads as I type this, which makes me really want to run out and get in one of those taxis. Then- just when the driver has gone a few blocks- I will lean forward and say “Alright, let’s just get this out of the way- yes, it’s me. I know this must be kind of weird for you. Just do your best to keep your eyes on the road. If you would like, I could just come sit up front. I know I would feel safer…” As it turns out, I am also on phone booths and shit too. For example:
That is crazy. Maybe now my parents will stop yelling at me to get a job and stuff.
Anyway, if you have high-definition cable television in your home (It is my understanding this is required to get the Mojo channel.), then I would encourage you to watch my program, of which there are six different mind-bending episodes that will hopefully air repeatedly to the point where you maybe wonder whether there is ever anything else on the channel. I personally do not have high-definition cable television in my home, so I also encourage you to welcome me into your home to watch along with you. We can sit there and laugh and point at the screen every time I am on it (which is most of the time, per my contract) and then afterwards I will dazzle you with wild behind-the-scenes tales from the making of my incredible television show (There is this one about a mixed-up coffee order that I can barely get through sometimes because it is so hilarious in its retelling). Then we will laugh and eat and drink some more (Nothing fancy- I am easy. TV Dave likes all the same stuff that regular Dave used to like, just more of it.) and then at some point I will announce my exit and you will walk me to the door even though I insist that you not get up. After we have said our goodbyes, you will close the door behind me and marvel to yourself and/or your roommate and/or significant other and/or the night about how I am still the same old great guy I always was even though I now have my own television program and could probably be hanging out with people far more famous than you but I choose not to because it simply is not about that for me. Besides- summer is just around the corner and I will be Hamptons-ing it up in no time, so what do I care? But enough about me. I really hope YOU get the chance to watch my show next week. In the meantime, why not watch the futuristic music video my friend and co-star (but- to be fair- I am on the show a LOT more than he is. Even he will tell you this. It cannot be debated.) Phil and I made to help promote our incredible television program? I hope you enjoy it cuz here it is again, dammit:
Oh yeah, you can also watch clips of “The King of Miami” at the futuristic website of Mojo (the futuristic network referenced earlier) located at here.
Okay then, thank you for your time. Who is the best? You!
Your man,
Dave Hill AKA the King of Miami AKA the star of the television program of the same name
May
Posted on 1st May 2007
Last night I ate dinner in scenic Chinatown with my friends David and Kristen at Big Wong on Mott Street, which is one of the greatest restaurants in North America even though the people who work there make you feel like they’d much rather you not be sitting there in their restaurant. If you can get past that (I do every time), you have a great meal ahead of you.
Originally we were going to eat at Veselka in the East Village but then Kristen broke it to me and David that she had eaten there the night before so we decided to head south to Chinatown. It was a good move as Big Wong pretty much kicks the crap out of Veselka even though Veselka is already pretty excellent and serves completely different food so it doesn’t make much sense to compare the two but whatever.
At Big Wong we ate big piles of pork, duck, soy chicken, steamed dumplings, Chinese broccoli, and some sort of gooey, noodley seafood dish that was still pretty good despite the way I just made it sound. Whenever I go to this place all I can think about is how I might manage to cram even more food into my mouth and last night was no different. This is how I maintain my trademark softness.
At one point during dinner, I had to use the men’s room and discovered a woman hosing it down with a garden hose. Since she had just cleaned it and all, I knew I had to be on good behavior because any paper or anything on the floor and she would totally know it was me. I mention this not because I usually make a mess out of restaurant men’s rooms (that I know of), but it is nice to have the option generally speaking.
After throwing down at Big Wong, David, Kristen, and I headed over to the nearby Haagen Dazs store only to discover it had closed for the night. We adjusted quickly by heading over to the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory, where we all got reasonably sized cones. I had the mocha chip. I also wanted to get a T-shirt there but they didn’t have my size in the color I wanted so fuck it.
Usually the combination of Big Wong followed by ice cream gets quite the party started in my gastrointestinal system and last night was no different. I’m not sure why I do this every time. I guess I just like to live on the edge (of incontinence). Nothing sprinting through the streets of Manhattan at night.
After parting ways with David and Kristen I headed over to the the UCB Theatre to perform in the late night Monday show Crash Test, which is usually hosted by the unstoppable Aziz Ansari but last night was hosted by the unstoppable Fabrice Fabrice (AKA Nick Kroll). Fabrice was incredible as always. Seth Morris and James Smith were also on the show and both were super funny. I did my best to entertain despite my compromised state. By the time the show was over it was pretty late, so I headed home to stare at the walls for a while and also type on the Internet and stuff. Really, I don’t know how I do it sometimes. If you have managed to read this far, I both thank you and apologize. You are the best. Let’s get a snack some time.
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