May
Posted on 22nd May 2007
Last night I went to see my friends Kurt and Kristen’s popular Hot Tub show at Piano’s over their on Ludlow Street. There was a really good crowd and it was good times all around. Kurt and Kristen were hilarious as usual and ate bananas throughout the show, which I thought was a really nice touch. Also performing were Heather Lawless, a New Zealander by the name of Guy Cooper, Rob Riggle, and a rock band called Meowster who had a bass player that used lots of reverb, which I really liked. Between that and the bananas I was pretty much transported. The other performers were really funny too. Kurt and Kristen will be doing their show again soon, so check that shit out if you haven’t already. Otherwise I will kick you in the nuts or something. I have to think about it.
In other news, if you haven’t grown tired of watching videos featuring me, Dave Hill, here on the magical Internet, go over to Bud TV and click on the square that says “Bassgrabbers.” It’s the first in a series of ten videos I did with the fabulous sketch group Dutch West. They play an English punk band and I play their English punk band manager. As you can probably imagine, mayhem and hilarity ensue. Plus, I have an English accent (or at least I try to) throughout the whole thing, so there’s some added excitement right there. Anyway, brace yourself.
And from the world of science, check out the crazy sea creature above. He is called the Dumbo octopus and lives at the bottom of the sea and probably has no idea he looks like some crazy Japanimation character. As octopuses go, he tests very high on the cuddle scale. For the record though, I am not really sure if this is a he. He very well may not have a donger. It’s hard to tell from this photo. I should probably flip it upside down or something. Anyway, if you want to read more about this guy and his friends, click here and let the excitement begin.
May
Posted on 22nd May 2007
Okay, I realize I must be violating some sort of rule about how many videos of yourself you can post on your blog in one week, but my friend Anya sent me this video of me shredding with my band Valley Lodge this past Saturday at Fontana’s and I just couldn’t resist posting it here, dammit. The video is of the last minute or so of us playing our popular hit “Every Little Thing” to perhaps as many as 30 people at once. In the interest of full disclosure, I must point out that I’m not shredding to full capacity in this clip however. I would classify this as face-singeing shredding at best maybe. But rest assured, I did some full-on face-melting shredding as the show progressed. This was the first song of the night so I didn’t want to send people off to the burn unit right out the gate. That’s just not fair. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the clip on some level or another.
May
Posted on 21st May 2007
Last night my unstoppable rock band Valley Lodge played at Fontana’s over there on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. It was good times despite the rain outside and also the fact that- when you get right down to it- we are really not all that popular. Still, we got up and rocked it in our new power trio format and then another band, the Surreal McCoys (not to be confused with the band of the same name who used to play around New York City a bunch of years ago) from parts unknown, got up and played their rock songs and it was fun times all around. They let us borrow their equipment too, which was nice of them and exciting because they had Dr. Z amplifiers, which are made in my hometown of Cleveland and sound excellent. They look really cool too, as hinted at in the photo above. I have wanted to get a Dr. Z amplifier for some time now and now I want to get one even more, dammit. As long as we’re on the topic however, I should point out that the amplifier I usually use is an Orange AD 30 head from the ‘90’s which runs through an Orange 4×12 cabinet from the ‘60’s or ‘70’s (I forget which). Okay, there, I’ve gotten all guitar geekiness out of my system (and hopefully satisfied any guitar geeks that might be reading this somehow). I’m really, really sorry about that. It was uncalled for. I’m not sure what got into me.
Before the rock show, my bandmates Phil and Rob and I crossed the street to eat the fuck out of some dumplings at Dumpling House on Eldridge Street, where you can get five dumplings for a dollar. The dumplings were super delicious as usual but I have to admit their ridiculously low price always makes me a little suspicious. How do they do it?
After the rock show I hung out for a bit and drank a couple beers in keeping with the rock-n-roll lifestyle. Then I left and ate the fuck out of a slice of pizza with some friends at Rocket Joe’s on Delancey Street. I probably shouldn’t have eaten the fuck out of the pizza a couple hours after eating the fuck out of some dumplings but then I was all like “Fuck it!” and just did it anyway. This is just one more example of my “anything goes” approach to life. 
In other news, I meant to write about this sooner but last weekend I watched the popular movie “The Departed” starring Hollywood’s Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Martin Sheen, and Leonardo DiCaprio in the popular DVD format. I really enjoyed it despite the fact that the only two people in the movie that could hang onto their fake Boston accent for more than a couple words at a time were Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon (which I guess makes sense since they are both from the Boston area in real life). And I hate to ruin it for you if you haven’t seen it, but at the end of the movie Mark and Matt are the only two left and you’re all like “Great- I can’t wait until Mark Wahlberg and Matt Damon go at it with their convincing Boston accents for a while!” But then before they have a chance to make that happen Mark Wahlberg totally shoots Matt Damon and he drops his groceries everywhere. Mark Wahlberg sneaks into Matt Damon’s apartment and is waiting for him with a gun and then when Matt Damon gets home and sees Mark Wahlberg with a gun he is all like “Oh, great- I guess I am dead now!” and he is right because then Mark Wahlberg totally shoots him and he is dead. It happened just like that.
Of all the stars in the hit movie “The Departed,” I liked Mark Wahlberg the best. Not only was he really good at talking like someone from Boston, but he also had really great hair in the movie. As if all that stuff weren’t enough, he’s also the guy that sang that “Good Vibrations” song (as Marky Mark), which people just can’t get enough of to this day no matter what they tell you. The impressive thing though is that Mark Wahlberg could totally bust out “Good Vibrations” any old time he wants but he never does and that’s what gives him the power in the end. He’s like a Buddhist or something. Keep up the good work, Mark. It has been noted.
May
Posted on 21st May 2007
In keeping with my recent theme of posting videos featuring me, Dave Hill, on this blog, here is yet another one. This time around I am talking about my life as a “celebrity interviewer” for HBO. At one point, my producer Jaime steps into the frame and that’s when the real excitement begins. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this behind-the-scenes glimpse into the incredible, incredible world of show business. It is really something.
May
Posted on 19th May 2007
A few months ago I interviewed Hollywood’s Sarah Silverman for HBO and now it is totally on the Internet. Watch it now in your spare time!
May
Posted on 17th May 2007
Hi. How are you? I am fine, thanks. Anyway, here is a video that I made with my pals at Runawaybox.com. It is written by Woody, who has great hair, and features singing and near violence, so it pretty much has everything. I hope you enjoy it so much.
May
Posted on 17th May 2007
I am in scenic Miami again for couple days only this time it is completely unrelated to my incredible television program ”The King of Miami.” This time I am shooting something that will appear on basic cable television on another channel and hopefully the people of North America will be really excited about it.
Speaking of exciting, yesterday I was standing in a Burger King parking lot in Miami and the big rooster above just came out of nowhere and started running around. He really added to the mayhem in a really nice way. When in doubt, throw a live chicken into the mix and see what happens. That’s what I always say. I tried to get closer to him to get a better picture but he wasn’t having it. Then again, I guess if I were running around just a few feet away from a restaurant that serves crown-shaped hunks of meat made from my relatives, I might not be all laid back about things either. Really, it’s tough to say.
May
Posted on 12th May 2007
If you are wild for the Internet like I am (and really, why wouldn’t you be? There is so much magical content I am about to experience organ failure), please check out the popular new website Runawaybox.com. Runawaybox.com is brought to by the popular HBO empire and features all sorts of entertaining videos and stuff to watch, including but not limited to videos of me talking to the stars of today, like Sarah Silverman, Jeffrey Tambor, Jimmy Kimmel, Rebecca Romijn, and a bunch more besides those. I hope you enjoy it so much.
May
Posted on 10th May 2007
Normally I don’t like to get all Carl Monday on people’s asses but- dammit- there is bullshit afoot and I must expose it. Here’s the story:
About a year ago, I walked into one of those Vital Dent places they have all over Manhattan. Unlike most dental offices, they operate out of storefronts and take walk-in customers. They offer a free check-up and cleaning with your first visit and then if you need more stuff done you have to pay for it. Since I hadn’t been to the dentist in about five years at this point (I am a disgusting and negligent person) and didn’t yet have a dentist in New York City, I figured walking into Vital Dent might be a good idea. I could get a free cleaning and figure out what other crazy shit might be going on. It was gonna be sweet.
The people at Vital Dent seemed nice and stuff. They checked out my teeth and X-rayed them and stuff and I was having a generally nice time. The bad news came when the dentist finally came in and told me they found six cavities that would need to be filled at a cost of about $1600. Also, since my teeth were so dirty, they refused to do the free cleaning because it wouldn’t really help much. Since I was broke at the time, I just left and figured I’d get the cavities fixed someday when I had some more loot.
Yesterday (approximately a year after my visit to Vital Dent) I decided to finally visit a dentist again. This time I went to my friend Chris’ dentist on Washington Square Park. I figured it was gonna be a bad day since I knew I had at least six cavities going for me already and probably more since another year had passed and all. The hygienist X-Rayed my teeth and cleaned them. It was a relatively painless process aside from gagging a couple times on those weird things you have to hold in your mouth during the X-Ray taking. Also, interestingly she told me that my teeth were in pretty good shape even though it had been so long since I’d had my teeth cleaned.
After the hygienist finished working her magic, the dentist came in and said “Well, I didn’t find anything.” I waited for him to finish that sentence with “except for twelve cavities” but he didn’t so I was all like “But what about the six cavities Vital Dent said I had?” He assured me that I had no cavities and laughed at the mention of Vital Dent, explaining that Vital Dent makes their money by filling cavities that don’t exist.
So I guess the moral of the story is that the Vital Dent people are lying liars who prey upon people like me who don’t know any better (actually maybe that’s not so much a moral but just what happened). Fortunately I was broke at the time and didn’t let them fill my fake cavities. I guess what I am trying to say is that Vital Dent can suck it. Motherfuckers trying to take Dave Hill’s money and shit. They better watch it or I might kick them in the nuts and then bite them with my healthy teeth. Fuckers are going down.
May
Posted on 9th May 2007
Hi. A while ago I made a video at Fashion Week in New York City for the popular Radar Magazine. I just put it up on YouTube. I hope you enjoy it so much.
