Aug
Posted on 19th August 2006
Say what you want, bitch, but one of my favorite rock songs of all time is “Burnin’ For You” by Blue Öyster Cult. It’s a rock song that has everything- it’s really catchy, has sweet guitar riffs and solos, and has an awesome section where everyone sings “Aaaaahhhhh” all at once for maximum rock effect. The video is pretty incredible too. I really like how the band marches out in the beginning in silhouette as they all get in position to rock out like a bunch of motherfuckers. Pretty much every band around today could learn a thing or two from Blue Öyster Cult on the rock front. Anyway, if you have been living the Blue Öyster Cult-free lifestyle up until now, please do something about it and watch this sweet video right now. I guarantee it will make you want to grow a full mustache by the time it’s over.
Aug
Posted on 18th August 2006
While staying at my friend Dave’s house out west, I rediscovered a CD I hadn’t listened to in a long time, “Dragline” by Paw, in a pile of CDs he had laying around. It was great to hear it again. Paw was a great band from Lawrence, Kansas who released a total of three full albums before breaking up. A lot of folks describe them as a grunge band, but I think that’s selling them short. They had a whole other thing going on that set them apart from most other guitar-based bands way back in the ‘90s. My first band, Sons of Elvis, had a chance to play on a bill with them at Peabody’s Down Under in Cleveland in 1994 and it was a real treat. They rocked balls. And when Sons of Elvis fell apart, Pat, Tim, and I from the band got together with Paw singer Mark Hennessy a couple times to make some noise. Nothing ever came of it, but it was a lot fun.
Just out of curiousity, I Googled the band just before typing this and read that Mark Hennessy released a book of poetry called “Cue the Bedlam” a few months back. I’m sure it’s worth checking out. He is a talenented mofo. You can read about it here. And on the rock front, you can download my favorite Paw song “Couldn’t Know” right here. It’s too bad they are no longer rocking together, but as my grandfather used to say, all good things must come to an end. Still, I hope that’s not really true.
Aug
Posted on 15th August 2006
After what feels like roughly six months here in Los Angeles (8 days on the Roman calendar), I am finally gearing up to head back to scenic Brooklyn for a few days. As much as I generally prefer to not be in Los Angeles, I’ve had a pretty good time here eating a lot and seeing a few friends and whatnot during my stay. I have to run around town this afternoon and pick up a few suitcases full of money before I go but after that I am off to the airport where I hope to fall into a deep coma until my plane shows up in NYC early tomorrow morning.
As far as the most recent round of ruling the fuck out of this place goes, however, yesterday I went to visit my friends Jenni and Ali on the set of an exciting new TV show they are making. It was a very Hollywood moment for me- lots of lights and cameras and people with headsets and clipboards and stuff. For some reason I kept being afraid that I would get in some big crazy chase across the set with a dog and a monkey and then a bunch of lighting rigs would fall over and there would be sparks everywhere and then some Hollywood starlet would get all mad at me because a bunch of mud or something got splashed in her face. And then everyone would stare at me and be all like “Dave! Dammit- you ruined everything! You are no longer welcome in this town! Just go!” And then I would just hold my hands up at my sides and have an embarrassed look on my face. Fortunately, however, I don’t have a dog or a monkey so I pretty much had to worry about just keeping myself out of trouble while they were making the TV show. It went pretty well.
The TV show was being made on the “Paramount lot”, which is showbiz lingo for the big place where Paramount Pictures makes TV shows and movies and stuff. That is me standing there in the visitor parking area above. If you look closely, you can see a big water tower off in the distance that says Paramount Pictures all fancy on it. And then over my shoulder there is a big wall that is painted to look just like a blue sky with clouds in it. That is just one example of the magic of Hollywood, a place where pretty much anything is possible. They also have a lot of buffets (craft services they call them out here) where you can eat as much candy as you want, which is great for a guy like me, who really likes candy.
After watching my friends make their TV show, I went to have dinner with my new friend Kitten Natividad. Since we didn’t get to talk too much the night she was on my show out here last week, I thought it would be fun to hang out a bit and chat and whatnot. We ended up getting some sushi near her house and it was good times all around. She is an excellent person. I hope I see her again real soon. That is the two of us standing there and looking into the camera in the photo above. See how we’re smiling? That’s because it’s good times all the time when Kitten and I hang out, chatting and laughing and whatnot. She’s a sweetheart.
Okay, it’s off to the showers now for me. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Aug
Posted on 14th August 2006
I have been in Los Angeles for almost a week now and- as you can probably imagine- I continue to totally rule the fuck out of this place. I did three shows last week, one little one and then two Dave Hill Explosions at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Hollywood. They weren’t my greatest shows ever, but I am not going to cut myself or anything. I am hoping that most in attendance were at least sufficiently kicked in the privates on some level or another.
My guests at the two Explosions were Russ Meyer film actress Kitten Natividad and author Lauren Frances on Thursday and Friday respectively. They were both excellent. Kitten asked me if I wanted to feel her boobs during the show and for reasons I am still trying to figure out as I type this, I declined. Dammit. Story of my life.
Aside from doing shows and not touching Kitten Natividad’s boobs, I have pretty much been stuffing my face the whole time I have been out west. I went to In-N-Out Burger one day last week, which was delightful as always. That’s the drive-thru menu above. I had a Double Double burger (or whatever it’s called), some french fries, and a chocolate shake. I am hoping to do it up again there sometime before I leave.
I also ate at Bob’s Big Boy restaurant last week, where I had pretty much their equivalent of the stuff I had at In-n-Out Burger plus a salad since I am one seriously healthy motherfucker. Afterwards, I went outside and stood in front of the Bob’s Big Boy statue out front, which was a big treat for me as you can see in the photo above. If you look closely, you can actually see me getting fatter as the photo was snapped. On a side note, when I was a youngster growing up in Cleveland, my grandfather used to take me and my brother and sisters to Bob’s Big Boy all the time, so this was kind of like a homecoming of sorts. People are still talking about it.
This weekend I headed down to my friend Kahlil’s house in Culver City. We had some pretty crazy times. On Saturday, we went to Little Tokyo, where we went to the two Giant Robot stores they have there. I bought a couple T-shirts, one with a drawing by artist Barry McGee on it and another with a drawing of Gaahl from the Norwegian Black Metal band Gorgoroth on it (I’m not sure who drew that one though). We also got some bubble tea, taro flavor to be exact (above). It is pictured above. As taro bubble tea goes, this batch was kind of crappy but I didn’t mind that much because bubble tea is one of those things I think I like the idea of more than actually ingesting it- kind of like scotch, lobster, or pickled meat products. If it doesn’t work out at least it was fun trying.
After our field trip to Little Tokyo, we went swimming in Kahlil’s pool. I almost never go swimming, so this was pretty exciting for me, you know, being fully submerged in water and all. As you probably guessed, that is a picture of me and Kahlil in the pool above. Despite appearances to the contrary, however, we are neither gay nor retarded (that much). Also, you can’t see it in the photo but Kahlil has this awesome pool cleaner thing that roves around the floor of the pool like a robot. It just cruises around and cleans the pool and I could totally watch it for hours. Damn- I wish I had a picture of that thing. It’s better than watching tropical fish or large construction equipment.
After going swimming for a while, Kahlil disappeared for a minute and then next thing we knew he was totally dressed as Spongebob Squarepants (Kahlil’s excellent wife Ginger made the Spongebob costume in her spare time and it is pretty incredible) and playing the drums. Talk about taking things to the next level- that is an example of that. I wish people got dressed up like cartoon characters with little-to-no warning more often in this world. There’s just no denying it would be a better place.
In other excitement, we went to that Cold Stone Creamery place not once, but twice over the weekend. I had never been before and wasn’t really sure what all the fuss was about but now I am totally getting it. They take some ice cream and then mix a bunch of crap into and then next thing you know you are totally loving that shit. Also, they mix everything up on a cold stone which I guess is how the place got it’s name. On the first visit, I got a large Peanut Butter Cup Perfection and the next time I got a small Coffee Lover’s Only, which was a mistake- I should have gotten the large again. If you’re gonna do something, DO IT. Getting a small ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery is like paying for a hooker and then only sticking your dick in halfway so you will feel less bad about the whole thing when it’s all over. It just makes no sense. Oh, wait a minute, I just reread those last couple sentences and realized I am a disgusting person. But hopefully you see my point.
Anyway, I really liked the Cold Stone Creamery place but I don’t think it will take the place of my Ben and Jerry’s habit or anything. I am more of a sit at home type when it comes to stuffing my face with ice cream. Plus, there isn’t one near my house in Brooklyn really so I think I am safe for the moment as far as having to buy a pair of fat pants go.
Now I am back in the scenic Valley at my friend Dave’s place and plotting my next move. I am sure it will be something incredible. I will keep you posted.
Aug
Posted on 8th August 2006
I just got word that Venom, the legendary English black metal masters, have had to cancel their entire North American tour due to “immigration problems,” which I’m guessing means someone somewhere decided that North America just couldn’t handle it, which- to be fair- is probably true. Anyway, in these crazy times we live in, I think it’s extra important that satanic metal bands like Venom come over to this increasingly lame land of ours and rock everyone’s balls off, which is to say- Dammit, we need Venom now more than ever. On the other hand, I’m kind of relieved that their tour got cancelled as I am going to be out of town when they were to have rocked New York City. It’s selfish of me, I know, but it really works out better for me if Venom comes over here to kick everyone’s asses later this year (Not that Venom should be catering to me specifically, but hopefully you see my point). Supposedly they are rescheduling their North American tour for September and I will be front and center and shirtless then, just rocking my ass off with Cronos and the other awesome guys from Venom, who probably won’t be wearing shirts either. In the meantime, we can all get a nice dose of the magic and majesty that is Venom here here. If you are at work right now, listen to the audio link really loud and if anyone complains just quit. You shouldn’t be working with a bunch of pussies who aren’t down with Venom anyway.
Aug
Posted on 8th August 2006
Yesterday I flew from scenic Eugene, Oregon to Los Angeles (with a super quick layover in San Francisco) and am now- as you can probably guess- ruling the fuck out of this place as I pretty much always do when I come here. I am doing two shows here this week of the Explosion variety so I am just gearing up for that at the moment. Other than that I am pretty much setting my sights on eating and stuff.
Last night I met my friend Gerry for dinner at a place called Piriya on Riverside in the Valley. It’s Gerry’s favorite place to get Thai curry. He’s usually right about this sort of thing and last night was no different. We had chicken skewers of some sort with peanut sauce as an appetizer and then had chicken with red curry and tofu with yellow curry for the main event. It pretty much ruled and was exactly what I needed after three days of debilitating gastrointestinal problems. I feel like I may be back on top (I will keep you posted). I meant to take a picture of all our food when it came out but I forgot so the picture above is of our plates when we were all done. As you can see, I didn’t finish all my rice, which is a part of my new low-carb approach to life. I am going to be a seriously lean motherfucker any day now. I can feel it. Actually, to be honest, I was just stuffed and couldn’t finish.
As far as getting around L.A. during my stay here goes, I Pricelined (yes, I know I am lame for just using that word as a verb in print) a car and got pretty much burned, as you can see from the photo above. The car I ended up with is a Chevy Aveso (I think), which is totally pictured above. It’s one of those cars you never see anywhere ever unless you try to bid $15 a day for a rental car and then totally end up pulling away with a Chevy Aveso. It’s pretty much a go-cart. If I run into even a garbage can or something it’s over for me I’m guessing. Fortunately, I have no pride or shame or any of those other things that might stop a person from driving a car like this so I’m sure I’ll do just fine. I do wish it had a CD player though so I could at least jam one of the sweet mix CDs I usually like to make for myself when I’m out here ruling this place. There’s a good radio station here though (I forget what it’s called but I think it’s 103.1 or very near that on the radio dial) on which Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols seems to be the DJ every time I turn it on. They play consistently good-to-great tunes the whole time so I can’t complain.
As for the rest of the day, I imagine I will have some sort of power lunch or another followed by an even more powerful dinner with all sorts of power conference calls in between. If things slow down at some point I imagine I will just go hang out with Lemmy or something. That’s just how it goes when I’m in this town and ruling the fuck out of this place.
Aug
Posted on 8th August 2006
Here’s a pretty good video of Morrissey performing at the Pinkpop Festival, which- to my understanding- is a big summer festival in the Netherlands or something. The song he is performing is the Smiths hit “Panic” and it’s pretty excellent. Not to get all music nerd on you, but the song borrows heavily from T. Rex’s “Metal Guru” in a really great way, which makes it even better. Anyway, I hope Morrissey tours over here in the United States soon so I can check that shit out.
Aug
Posted on 7th August 2006
If you are looking for a DVD to buy and then take home and watch with your friends and/or loved ones, you should totally buy the recently released “Pee-Wee Herman Show: Live At The Roxy Theater” DVD that came out last month. Paul Reubens is pretty much the king if you ask me. I was excited to read recently that there are two Pee-Wee Herman movies in the works (“Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” still ranks as one of my all-time favorites. I remember laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe when I first saw it in the theatre.). This DVD is of Pee-Wee’s live show before he made any movies or did the excellent “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” TV show (which is now on Adult Swim I’m told). I believe it was an HBO special at one point or another. The show includes some excellent moments with Phil Hartman (R.I.P.) as Captain Carl too. Anyway, if you want to see the genius Paul Reubens/Pee-Wee Herman in his early days (1982), you should totally buy the fuck out of this DVD. And if you are not completely satisfied with your purchase you can kick me in the nuts.
Aug
Posted on 7th August 2006
Today I write to you from scenic Eugene, Oregon, a place I have never been to before and- I am finding- with good reason. Actually, wait, no, I’m being too harsh. It seems like a very nice place but so far I have only seen the areas that are full of fast food restaurants and gas stations, which is to say that it looks like pretty much everywhere else in America when you are staying at a hotel right off the highway and nowhere near what might be called a city or urban-type area.
I am in Eugene taping more stuff for the soon-to-be-wildly-popular cable television program I am totally on. Unfortunately I have been experiencing not so fun gastrointestinal problems for the past 48 hours, which has left me a bit distracted from, well, pretty much everything. A few minutes ago, I made myself puke in the bathroom in an effort to clear/clean the slate as it were. All it seems to have done so far though is give me even more of a stomach ache and make my hotel room smell like puke. In fact, I’m guessing my room smells even more like puke than I actually realize since the smell of your own puke is just one of those things in life that you notice far less than other people. There are supposed to be some people showing up at my door in a few minutes though so I imagine I will find out then the true extent of the puke smell in my room. I will keep you posted.
I had hoped to take all sorts of incredible photos while I was here in scenic Eugene but for all the reasons stated above I haven’t taken that many. The first photo, however, is of a dollar store we- the crew and I- happened upon on our way into a grocery store where I bought some chewable Pepto-Bismol capsules that- as of this writing- have been largely ineffective. Anyway, I like how right below where it says “Dollar Store” it says “Everything’s $1.00” in case the whole Dollar Store thing wasn’t enough to clue you in on exactly what’s going on inside. Okay, well, I know it’s not really that funny or anything, but when you’re in a strange town and running to the bathroom every five minutes you gotta take your fun where you can get it.
Since the show I am taping stuff for isn’t on TV yet and I’m not allowed to spoil everything for millions and millions of people by writing too much about it here, I can’t go into a lot of detail about why I have a picture of the extremely large rubber band ball above. But I will say that I was totally in the guy who made this thing’s garage today and it was really something (as far as rubber band balls go anyway). Needless to say, it’s exactly this sort of thing that has helped to make Oregon #1.
I am supposed to go have dinner shortly, which I can only imagine will be followed by more trips to the bathroom for all sorts of reasons. Full details coming soon because you have a right to know.
Aug
Posted on 2nd August 2006
Attention People Of New York City:
It is so hot outside. I cannot stop talking about it. Anyway, I just wanted to remind you one last time that TOMORROW, Thursday, August 3 at 9:30pm I will be going against the advice given to me by the medical community and showing up at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (307 West 26th St. in Chelsea) for another round of good times in the form of the wildly popular Dave Hill Explosion, which is the show that I do there. I have been sitting here thinking about it for the past fifteen minutes or so and I have come to the conclusion that tomorrow night is going to be just plain electric. There is going to be clapping and dancing and singing and talking and dog bites and all sorts of other stuff that I cannnot even get into right now because- as mentioned earlier- it is really, really hot outside, so hot in fact that I have been acting out scenes from the Old Testament in front of my apartment because I am all sweaty and have dirt on my face and am dressed in bedsheets anyway so it seemed like a total waste not to. Do you ever get that way? Anyway, my exciting guests tomorrow include New York Times Magazine columnist Randy Cohen AKA The Ethicist and his daughter Sophie Pollitt-Cohen, co-author of the gripping and controversial tell-all The Notebook Girls. And then, in the taking it to the next level department, I am going to be breaking out musical guest Corn Mo, who is a total motherf$#ker (I mean that in a really good way). I really hope you can make it. It is going to be so great and not so hot in temperature because the UCB Theatre is air-conditioned, which is really great because it is so hot outside. You can reserve tickets free of charge (but you will have to pay for them when you show up. Dammit.) here.
Still thinking about how hot it is outside and seriously thinking about talking about it some more in the very near future,
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