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11th
May
I Am Totally Writing a Book
Posted on 11th May 2011

cave
Hi. How are you? I am fine. Thanks so much for asking. I can’t remember if I mentioned this here yet, but just in case I forgot, I wanted to tell you that I am totally writing a book and St. Martin’s Press, the popular book-making people, are totally going to publish it. You can read further important details on the whole thing right here (third item down). My incredible book is coming out sometime next year. When it does, I hope you will buy several copies for you and your loved ones and maybe a couple other people too. It will make a great gift for men, women, children (albeit sophisticated ones who can handle naughty talk), and those who reject such labels alike. I am going to make sure the cover looks really cool too so you can leave it out on your coffee table, nightstand, or gun rack and it will make you seem really classy, like the kind of person who knows from good literature and such. In the back of the book, there will be a picture of me just sitting there looking like it’s really hard for me not to jot down all my thoughts and feelings at all times, especially when someone is trying to take my picture. Also, this photo is going to make people want to have intercourse with me, especially after reading my book, which will pretty much have everything. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up on all this. Thank you for your time. I guess just go back to whatever you were doing now. Really, it’s up to you. You seem nice. I am not looking to control you.

Dave Hill

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