May
Posted on 20th May 2010
Greetings from St. Gallen, which is totally a place in Switzerland and yet another place on the Walter Schreifels Band’s hit list as we continue to lay waste to Europe without even really trying. We got here yesterday after deciding to give Germany a break for a few days. As we made our way across the Swiss border, I was immediately struck by the overall Swissness of it all, with goats and cows and adorable gingerbread-looking houses everywhere. It’s idyllic like a motherf@#ker. I’ve been here less than 24 hours but early reports are suggesting that it might be my favorite place I’ve ever been. I can’t vouch for the weather yet, but it’s easily as good as that of my hometown of Cleveland, so I’ll take it. Plus, small children dance around you and throw chocolates at your head pretty much everywhere you go here. It’s pretty great.
Our show last night was at a place called Gabenhalle and was super fun in nature. We played all the hits. The rock aside, the backstage spread was so far the best of the tour, complete with all sorts of vegetables that looked like they were just pulled from a garden by some adorably dressed little maiden with a cool hat. There was also a bar of Swiss chocolate so big it looked like it could cause injury. My plan was to take it and put it in my bag as I am the candy guy on this tour, but the other bastards dug into it before I could get to it, foiling my plan and darkening my world view in the process. I got through it though and had a really nice time eating all the other stuff and also drinking adorable cans of some Swiss beer called Quollfrisch that had some cool mountain guy with a goat licking him on the can.
Before the show, Walter and I went for a run into the Swiss mountains or at least the most Swiss mountainy area of the town. Along the way, we happened upon all sorts of adorable Swiss houses and general Swissness. No one litters here and it seems like a cute little goat might appear from behind every corner at any moment. Since I love both goats and chocolate, this town is pretty much set up for a guy like me.
I had such a super blast running around the town before our show last night that I woke up early this morning and did it all over again. This time I ran even further up to the tippy top of the entire town. No one could believe it. I’m pretty sure everyone in the whole town was cheering for me but it was hard to tell because I was listening to sweet jams on my headphones while also giving everyone the finger.
On the way back to our hotel, I happened upon the red barrel above. It sits atop a platform in the middle of the town and pees down on everybody all the time and there ain’t a damn thing anybody gonna say about it. I am pretty much going to need to get one of these.
Backing things up a bit, the night before last we rocked the f@#k out of Cologne, the famous German city named after the popular men’s fragrance. For some reason, I was really looking forward to coming to Cologne even though I knew nothing about it and my expectations were met as the town is pretty beautiful and seemingly full of good times all the time and doors that creak in a satisfying, old-timey way.
Earlier in the day before the Cologne show, we walked around the town a little bit and happened upon a giant church called the Sudturm des Kolner Domes or something. All the other guys in the band had been here before, so they didn’t want to go in but I was like “When in Cologne”, so I told them I would totally meet them later and went inside. The church was super beautiful, as you might expect. They let you walk to the very top of the steeples or whatever the towers of the church are called and I totally did that. There are about a million steps to the very top but I ran up them like I was being chased by a hellhound or maybe even Nazis, pushing old ladies and small children out of my way the entire time. They were kind of pissed but even so they couldn’t help but cheer for me because I was so awesome at running up those damn stairs.
Once I got to the very top, I walked outside on the balcony thingy and took in the majestic views of the sweet ass town of Cologne. For a brief moment, I even considered what a lucky guy I am. Then I ran back down the stairs, pushing more old ladies and small children out of my way and also slowly reembracing the existential crisis I had left waiting for me on the ground floor.
Our show in Cologne was at a cool club called the Blue Shell. It was packed and we played the best we’ve ever played together before. A few times during the show, I tried to see if I could be not awesome at rocking for a second if I really tried but it didn’t work- I was so f@#king awesome at rocking I almost had a seizure. Everyone wanted to make out with me.
Before soundcheck in Cologne, I walked around the town a little bit looking for action and also trying to buy batteries. Along the way, I stopped into a bar and drank an adorable little glass of Gaffel Kolsch, which is made in Cologne as far as I’m concerned since it seems like that’s all anyone drinks there. That is me totally having a nice time while drinking my beverage above. I wish you could have been there. You have to hear my new accent.
Auf wiedersehen,
Dave Hill
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