Hi. Do you like the Smiths, Morrissey, and/or making out and stuff? If you answered yes to just one of these questions, then you should totally come to “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable,” a magical night combining Smiths and Morrissey music with speed dating at the Black Rabbit Bar in Greenpoint, Brooklyn that is happening tomorrow night at 8pm. This is an idea that I came up with in my spare time and will be implementing myself like a motherf@#ker right there on the premises. If you are in New York City or thereabouts, come on by. You can speed date or just hang out and drink stuff while listening to excellent music and having a really nice time in general. Come or I will stab you. Wait, no, that’s too harsh. It will probably just hurt my feelings.