I’m not sure how much I can really talk about this because we’re still in production and stuff, but here is a photo of me and my co-star Joe Franklin on the set of the exciting remake of “Twins,” the popular 1988 Danny DeVito/Arnold Schwarzenneger vehicle, that we have been tirelessly working on for the last six months. Holy Waterworld has it been a lot of work but I am proud to say that (so far) it has been absolutely worth it. Some days, though, I swear we just turn the cameras on and that’s all it takes to start making magic. The photo above is from a great scene that’s not in the original film where we run out of Scope and then decide that we better get some more Scope. I don’t want to ruin it for you but it culminates with me and Joe losing control of our Scope-filled shopping cart, which somehow ends up crashing through the front window of an all-you-can-eat shrimp restaurant that just happens to be owned by- wait for it- Queen Latifah! I don’t know how the crew managed to keep from laughing while shooting that one. I can’t wait to see the outtakes. And Latifah- if you are reading this- “this shrimp tastes funny!” Only Latifah will know what I mean by that. Ha! Love you, girl.

Here is a photo of me and Joe just hanging out on the set between shooting scenes. A funny story: I would spend a lot of my downtime on the set checking e-mail, hitting the chat rooms, and day trading and stuff on my laptop, which is a Mac. Joe, noticing it was a Mac, would say to me every time, “Dude- you gotta get a Dell!,” which I would laugh at despite myself pretty much every time. Then Joe would say, “Dave, you gotta take a break from that computer or your eyes are gonna fall out!,” which, of course, would get me to set the computer down and go get a donut or something. So, anyway, on one of these “computer breaks”, I head over to craft services, grab a donut, a few Kit Kats, and some melon and then head back to the couch. And when I return, guess who’s on my computer. Joe! So I say to him, “Hey, Joe- you better take a break from that computer or your eyes are gonna fall out!” Joe- not missing a beat- then picks up an entire pitcher of hot coffee and throws it in my face, giving me third-degree burns from my chest up. I was furious at first, but then just doubled over laughing (and KEPT laughing all the way to the E.R.). For some reason we just can’t stay mad at each other. We still laugh about that day. In fact, ever since then, whenever I ask for coffee on the set, Joe says, “I’ll get it, Dave!” And then I say, “No thanks, Joe! Remember what happened last time?” And then I show him my medical I.D. bracelet. I can’t believe I actually get paid to make this movie. I am having so much fun and have made a friend for life. And I can’t believe I get to work with Sam Mendes!

Dave Hill

I’m not sure how much I can really talk about this because we’re still in production and stuff, but here is a photo of me and my co-star Joe Franklin on the set of the exciting remake of “Twins,” the popular 1988 Danny DeVito/Arnold Schwarzenneger vehicle, that we have been tirelessly working on for the last six months. Holy Waterworld has it been a lot of work but I am proud to say that (so far) it has been absolutely worth it. Some days, though, I swear we just turn the cameras on and that’s all it takes to start making magic. The photo above is from a great scene that’s not in the original film where we run out of Scope and then decide that we better get some more Scope. I don’t want to ruin it for you but it culminates with me and Joe losing control of our Scope-filled shopping cart, which somehow ends up crashing through the front window of an all-you-can-eat shrimp restaurant that just happens to be owned by- wait for it- Queen Latifah! I don’t know how the crew managed to keep from laughing while shooting that one. I can’t wait to see the outtakes. And Latifah- if you are reading this- “this shrimp tastes funny!” Only Latifah will know what I mean by that. Ha! Love you, girl.

Here is a photo of me and Joe just hanging out on the set between shooting scenes. A funny story: I would spend a lot of my downtime on the set checking e-mail, hitting the chat rooms, and day trading and stuff on my laptop, which is a Mac. Joe, noticing it was a Mac, would say to me every time, “Dude- you gotta get a Dell!,” which I would laugh at despite myself pretty much every time. Then Joe would say, “Dave, you gotta take a break from that computer or your eyes are gonna fall out!,” which, of course, would get me to set the computer down and go get a donut or something. So, anyway, on one of these “computer breaks”, I head over to craft services, grab a donut, a few Kit Kats, and some melon and then head back to the couch. And when I return, guess who’s on my computer. Joe! So I say to him, “Hey, Joe- you better take a break from that computer or your eyes are gonna fall out!” Joe- not missing a beat- then picks up an entire pitcher of hot coffee and throws it in my face, giving me third-degree burns from my chest up. I was furious at first, but then just doubled over laughing (and KEPT laughing all the way to the E.R.). For some reason we just can’t stay mad at each other. We still laugh about that day. In fact, ever since then, whenever I ask for coffee on the set, Joe says, “I’ll get it, Dave!” And then I say, “No thanks, Joe! Remember what happened last time?” And then I show him my medical I.D. bracelet. I can’t believe I actually get paid to make this movie. I am having so much fun and have made a friend for life. And I can’t believe I get to work with Sam Mendes!

Dave Hill

It’s Sunday and it’s feeling like a Thin Lizzy day for some reason. Then again, pretty much every day goes well with a little Thin Lizzy, one of the best band’s off all time in my expert opinion. This is a video for their song “Bad Reputation.” Pay special attention to the large metal Thin Lizzy logo hanging above them. Why every band doesn’t have one of these I will never know. Maybe sometimes the sign would get stuck in traffic and band couldn’t start the show without it. “Sorry, our drummer has to take a leak and also our giant metallic band logo is stuck in traffic,” the rock band member will say. “I guess we’ll need at least another fifteen minutes.” And no one will argue with him because it will have all made perfect sense. This is the world I would like to live in. Someday, someday. Until then, I can watch this video and dream.

Dave Hill

It’s Sunday and it’s feeling like a Thin Lizzy day for some reason. Then again, pretty much every day goes well with a little Thin Lizzy, one of the best band’s off all time in my expert opinion. This is a video for their song “Bad Reputation.” Pay special attention to the large metal Thin Lizzy logo hanging above them. Why every band doesn’t have one of these I will never know. Maybe sometimes the sign would get stuck in traffic and band couldn’t start the show without it. “Sorry, our drummer has to take a leak and also our giant metallic band logo is stuck in traffic,” the rock band member will say. “I guess we’ll need at least another fifteen minutes.” And no one will argue with him because it will have all made perfect sense. This is the world I would like to live in. Someday, someday. Until then, I can watch this video and dream.

Dave Hill

As part of my ongoing attempt to make people watch some of my older videos on the Internet until I am done making some new ones, I would like to encourage you to now watch my incredible video called “The Sheriff of Prospect Park”, featuring a star turn by that big fag David Rakoff, who probably has himself on Google alerts or something. Anyway, this video is from the future and also highly controversial, which is to say that some people didn’t like it. Maybe they just can’t handle art, the f#%kers. Anyway, check it out. I mean, hey, why not? If you’ve come to this page, you’ve obviously got the time. Ha! I make joke. I am thrilled you made time for me today. Without you, I might go back to being a cutter. Oh, who am I kidding? I am a cutter. I guess I just want to feel alive. Is that so wrong? I-I love you. Did I mention that? There- I said it. Are you happy now? Are you f#@king happy?! Alright, if you need me I’ll be in the basement watching my programs. But don’t bother me unless it’s absolutely necessary. And no, I don’t want any of your goddamn tuna casserole. I told you I hate tuna! I hate it!!!

Dave Hill

As part of my ongoing attempt to make people watch some of my older videos on the Internet until I am done making some new ones, I would like to encourage you to now watch my incredible video called “The Sheriff of Prospect Park”, featuring a star turn by that big fag David Rakoff, who probably has himself on Google alerts or something. Anyway, this video is from the future and also highly controversial, which is to say that some people didn’t like it. Maybe they just can’t handle art, the f#%kers. Anyway, check it out. I mean, hey, why not? If you’ve come to this page, you’ve obviously got the time. Ha! I make joke. I am thrilled you made time for me today. Without you, I might go back to being a cutter. Oh, who am I kidding? I am a cutter. I guess I just want to feel alive. Is that so wrong? I-I love you. Did I mention that? There- I said it. Are you happy now? Are you f#@king happy?! Alright, if you need me I’ll be in the basement watching my programs. But don’t bother me unless it’s absolutely necessary. And no, I don’t want any of your goddamn tuna casserole. I told you I hate tuna! I hate it!!!

Dave Hill

I have added some new videos to my incredible YouTube channel. Wait- just let that sink in for a second. Okay, now go watch the videos on my Youtube channel, which is located here. I should point out that the girls in the photo above are not in any of my YouTube videos. They are in my dreams though. No, just kidding- they are not in my dreams either. It was just something I was thinking for a second, not unlike the popular Billy Ocean song “Get Outta My Dreams” in which he asks the lady in the song to “get out of his dreams and into his car.” I imagine he couldn’t help but smile to himself when he thought of that line. It’s a pretty good one. Okay, um, anyway, that’s about it for now. Hurray for the Internet! The future is now!

Dave Hill

I have added some new videos to my incredible YouTube channel. Wait- just let that sink in for a second. Okay, now go watch the videos on my Youtube channel, which is located here. I should point out that the girls in the photo above are not in any of my YouTube videos. They are in my dreams though. No, just kidding- they are not in my dreams either. It was just something I was thinking for a second, not unlike the popular Billy Ocean song “Get Outta My Dreams” in which he asks the lady in the song to “get out of his dreams and into his car.” I imagine he couldn’t help but smile to himself when he thought of that line. It’s a pretty good one. Okay, um, anyway, that’s about it for now. Hurray for the Internet! The future is now!

Dave Hill

Thanks to my friend Laura/Lisa for pointing this out to me first, but here are some sage words from the man himself, Dick Cavett, on talk show hosts of the past versus today’s crop. As usual, the man is right. Now would someone please send a car to Montauk and get that man back on the air?

As long as we’re on the topic, I’ve probably mentioned this here before, but I strongly recommend picking up any and all of the Dick Cavett Show DVDs now available through Shout Factory. Pop them in every night at eleven until this writers’ strike is over. It’s riveting television.

Dave Hill

Thanks to my friend Laura/Lisa for pointing this out to me first, but here are some sage words from the man himself, Dick Cavett, on talk show hosts of the past versus today’s crop. As usual, the man is right. Now would someone please send a car to Montauk and get that man back on the air?

As long as we’re on the topic, I’ve probably mentioned this here before, but I strongly recommend picking up any and all of the Dick Cavett Show DVDs now available through Shout Factory. Pop them in every night at eleven until this writers’ strike is over. It’s riveting television.

Dave Hill