If you would like to contact me, Dave Hill, directly, please write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you feel yours is a matter better addressed by my large team of handlers, please write to email@example.com.
If you would like to sue me but are not exactly sure how to go about it, please contact my lawyers at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you would like to “get with me” but are not exactly sure how to go about it, simply contact my lovely assistant Coco La Mer in the satellite office at email@example.com.
If you have complaints about me, this website, or the hand you have been dealt in life, please send them to firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you would like to book me for a public or private event including but not limited to birthdays, weddings, wakes, corporate retreats, auto shows, interventions, Civil War reenactments, beauty pageants, brisses, martial arts competitions, and/or on-the-job safety seminars, please write to email@example.com.
For inquiries outside of the continental United States (I am talking to you, Canada!), please write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you would like info that has nothing to do with any of the above, please write to email@example.com.
And finally, if you are simply interested in a bit of light chitchat, please write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Then again, you could just e-mail me at email@example.com. Life is so short- what do you say you and I just get right down to it?