|Witch Taint Shirts Are Here, Not That Anyone Can Handle It|
The people have spoken and, I, Dave Hill a/k/a Lance- the King of Black Metal, have responded in the form of making all-new Witch Taint shirts, complete with new, slightly more readable logo (I realize this is kind of selling out, but the Taint can no longer be kept a secret!) and a lot more extreme and Satanic imagery that most people can’t handle. To the uninitiated, Witch Taint is the greatest, most extreme Norwegian Black Metal band of all-time even though they/we aren’t even from Norway. You can get the full story here if you don’t know it already, but seriously how would you not know about Witch Taint already? I mean, come on, are you in league with Satan or what? Pull yourself together!
As far as the shirts go, they feature the incredible artwork above (created by me, Dave, mentioned earlier. Click on the image to see it bigger and stuff) in white ink on black, 100% cotton T-shirts. No, they don’t come in any other colors. This is the most extreme metal band of all-time and black is the only option. Why are you even asking? As for sizes, the new Witch Taint shirt comes in XS, S, M, L, XL, and XXL. The shirt costs a total of $18, which includes shipping and handling (there will be lots of it, trust me) no matter where you live in the world, even Canada. There are no hidden fees, but you may be taxed emotionally. All proceeds go to Satan. If you are looking for a way of letting people know that you are pretty much the most badass and extreme person on your block, in your neighborhood, at your workplace, or pretty much anywhere else you might end up going, wearing a Witch Taint shirt is a pretty good place to start. Also- just a word of caution- most people will probably pass out just trying to put a shirt like this on because it is so badass and extreme and totally not for pussies, but if you think you can handle it, please send an e-mail to email@example.com and await further instruction on how to pay and totally have one sent to your house where you live. These shirts were made in a limited run of 666, so quit f@#king around and order one now because you’re going to want to wear it every day.