In the Future Age we live in, to be tweetchecked (a word I just learned from the lovely Mandy Stadtmiller) is pretty cool and it just happened to me courtesy of Best Week Ever host and friend the great Paul F. Tompkins, a hilarious and impeccably dressed man. Watch the video above for my tweetchecking and also appearances by some other very funny but not nearly as well-dressed as Paul people.
It’s Monday and I am still coming down from the gayest day of the year (Gay Pride Day in New York City, in case you happen to live here and didn’t leave the house) in a city that is already pretty gay year round if you really think about it. I am not a gay myself, but sort of like how everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, I tried to gay it up as much as possible on Gay Pride Day anyway, stopping short of doing anything actually seriously gay that might have changed my totally not gay life forever.
I started by having myself a delicious brunch (albeit by myself, which- to be fair is not very festive and- as a result- also not very gay)) and then just sort of walking around my neighborhood being as fierce as possible (a popular thing to do among gays), which- given the fact that I was kind of tired and all- mostly consisted of me just putting on a bright yellow T-shirt and wearing sunglasses that I am pretty sure were meant for an old lady. Given the level of gayness that was happening all around me, however, it was really hard to compete with the actual gays who were gaying it up like it was some kind of contest (which I guess it sort of it when it gets right down to it). By mid-afternoon, I kind of gave up and just went home and didn’t really act very gay at all other than working on my abs for a bit.
Things got slightly gayer at night as a couple of my good friends, who happen to be totally gay even though I don’t in any way think of them as “my gay friends” because I am really, really open-minded and accepting of their super-gay lifestyle (except for when they do something totally gay right in front me and it’s really more than I can handle), called me up to meet up with them and celebrate their gayness. Because I didn’t want to become gay by association, I was hesitant at first but in the end decided to fully gay it up with them for a little while before we went our separate ways, me to go home and be so totally not gay that it’s not even fucking funny and them to go home and probably be so gay that it’s actually kind of ridiculous.
Now it’s Monday and the streets of New York have gone back to just being sort of gay instead of totally gay. I miss the dancing in the streets and the good gay times in general though. I think we could all stand to gay it up a little more each day, even people like me who are totally into having intercourse sex with chicks. Gay it up, New York City! Gay it up, America! You know you want to!
Hi there. You like good fun, right? Okay, great. Anyway, this Friday night I am doing something groundbreaking and fun at the Metropolitan Museum of Art called “Fancy Meeting You Here,” which is part museum tour, part comedy show. Here’s how it works: show up on the steps of the Met at 6:30pm and we’ll round you up and take you inside for a tour led by me and fellow comedy types Carl Arnheiter (Inside Joke), Eric Drysdale (Colbert Report), and Tony Carnevale (National Lampoon). We’ll each take turns walking you around the museum and telling you about stuff. As Eric Drysdale said to me, “It’s the only comedy show in town that incorporates over $350 million in props.” And it will only cost you $10 (suggested group rate donation to the museum). When the whole thing is over, we’ll all grab a drink on the rooftop of the Met and you will remember how great it is to live in New York City.
This is a photo of a bunch of ants I saw surrounding a grate on Bleecker Street a couple days ago. I’m not sure what they were up to but they really seemed to mean business. If they had been cows or donkeys or she-wolves or something, this probably would have made the news. But since they were just ants, this incident received little to no media attention. Until now.
Here is an interview with me, Dave Hill, on one of the Onion’s websites Decider.com. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like to hang out with me in my apartment, this should give you a sense of things. I hope you will come over some time anyway.
Because I am a grown man, I wanted to share with you my friend Jake’s new website “Things That Look Like Cock-n-Balls”. It’s pretty self-explanatory. If you are a manchild like Jake and I, you will find it endlessly entertaining.
From my friend Gian, Dylan Thomas reading over a Dr. Dre beat. The kids call it a mashup or something. Anyway, it’s pretty great. I hope you enjoy it a whole bunch. Check it out here: Dylan Thomas vs. Dr. Dre.
Happy Wednesday. Hump Day- am I right or am I right? Or am I right? Anyway, if you would like to read my wrap-up/roundup of my Bonnaroo 2009 experience (complete with pictures!), you can do so by heading over to Brooklyn Vegan right now by clicking here. The picture above should give you a sense of the level of fun I had at Bonnaroo. That is me with my bandmate Phil and the great Corn Mo, who was on keys with us at Bonnaroo, where- as mentioned earlier- my rock band Valley Lodge was the house band for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Phil says I look like I am “transitioning” in this photo. I’m not sure if he means I am about to get rid of my cock and balls or if he means I am about to have my vagina refashioned into a weird, post-operative stump of a penis. I am going to have to ask him about this at some point. I think he was basically trying to say I look like a woman in this photo. As photos of me go, I guess he is kind of right.
Hi there. If you are in New York City and you like to rock out, you should totally come to see the Walter Schreifels’ solo band at the Studio at Webster Hall tomorrow, Wednesday June 17. I am playing guitar in the band, which also includes the great Arthur Smilios (Gorilla Biscuits, War Zone, CIV) on bass and the great Andy Action (2 Skinnee J’s, Speedball Baby!, Apes and Androids, Foreign Islands) on drums and, of course, the man himself, Walter Schreifels, singing and playing guitar like a motherf@#ker front and center. We are going to be playing Walter’s new solo hits as well as hits from all his previous bands like Gorilla Biscuits, Quicksand, Rival Schools, and Walking Concert. As if all that is not enough, also playing with us tomorrow night is the excellent Rebecca Schiffman and Borrowed Eyes. Quit f@#king with me- just come!