Apr
Posted on 21st April 2009
My friend Tim sent me this today. I don’t know much about Colitis or Crohn’s Disease, but I can certainly relate to finding myself desperately in need of finding a bathroom before I completely soil myself. I think they need to add a third category for people who don’t necessarily have a disease or anything but just like to live life to its fullest, like me. One time, I was in such a rush for a bathroom that I crashed my car into a tree on my sister’s front lawn trying to get inside quickly enough. I screwed up the bumper and chipped the bark a little but I didn’t have to do any extra laundry that day. Crisis averted.
Another time, I had to pull over and leave the car idling on the street as I ran into what I thought was a wooded area. I pushed my way through the branches to a clearing, dropped my pants, and let nature take its course. When my business was done, I looked up to discover a man in a recliner watching TV in his den just a few yards away. I was in his backyard. Oops. I hope he planted roses that year. The cops were on their way before I even got back to my car.
Anyway, kudos to the people of the United Kingdom for coming up with this genius plan. Imagine how many sad and smelly walks home will be avoided in the process. Then again, I imagine by the time you take out this card, show it to the business owner, and make your case, you will have completely shit your pants. Either way, he or she will remember you.
Dave Hill
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