I have spent the last few days in my hometown of Cleveland, where I came to celebrate the popular Thanksgiving holiday and see some friends and family and whatnot. Last night, I met a couple friends at the Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland, where Pere Ubu was playing in one room and Blue Cheer were playing in the other. I dig both bands a lot but- since I was seeing folks I hadn’t seen in a while- I have to admit I spent a lot more time talking than I did focusing on the rock.

One act I did give my full attention to was Glenn Schwartz, who was opening up for Blue Cheer. Glenn is an amazing guitar player who chose the Lord and just being, well, sorta nutty in general over rock stardom back in the early ‘70’s. Jimmy Page, Chuck Berry, Eric Clapton, Duane Allman, Carlos Santana, and Jeff Beck have all been fans over the years and Jimi Hendrix even asked him to play at his last birthday party (the one he had before he died). In short, he is a motherf*cker (in a really good way).

I’ve never been a huge fan of blues guitar but Glenn plays it in a way that transcends the genre. One second, he’s whispering through a few licks as if they are taking place in an alternate universe or maybe just inside his head, the next he’s kicking you in the nuts with some full-on shredding. He plays the guitar with his teeth even though he appears to have almost none. He is one crazy badass. I’d seen him play a couple times before a few years ago, but last night’s show reinvigorated my enthusiasm for the man. Hopefully one day he’ll get it together to take the show on the road. Until then, you’re gonna have to road trip it to you Cleveland, which would be worth it. You can find out more about him here.

Dave Hill

I have spent the last few days in my hometown of Cleveland, where I came to celebrate the popular Thanksgiving holiday and see some friends and family and whatnot. Last night, I met a couple friends at the Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland, where Pere Ubu was playing in one room and Blue Cheer were playing in the other. I dig both bands a lot but- since I was seeing folks I hadn’t seen in a while- I have to admit I spent a lot more time talking than I did focusing on the rock.

One act I did give my full attention to was Glenn Schwartz, who was opening up for Blue Cheer. Glenn is an amazing guitar player who chose the Lord and just being, well, sorta nutty in general over rock stardom back in the early ‘70’s. Jimmy Page, Chuck Berry, Eric Clapton, Duane Allman, Carlos Santana, and Jeff Beck have all been fans over the years and Jimi Hendrix even asked him to play at his last birthday party (the one he had before he died). In short, he is a motherf*cker (in a really good way).

I’ve never been a huge fan of blues guitar but Glenn plays it in a way that transcends the genre. One second, he’s whispering through a few licks as if they are taking place in an alternate universe or maybe just inside his head, the next he’s kicking you in the nuts with some full-on shredding. He plays the guitar with his teeth even though he appears to have almost none. He is one crazy badass. I’d seen him play a couple times before a few years ago, but last night’s show reinvigorated my enthusiasm for the man. Hopefully one day he’ll get it together to take the show on the road. Until then, you’re gonna have to road trip it to you Cleveland, which would be worth it. You can find out more about him here.

Dave Hill

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you get lots of candy and presents and stuff. Apropos of nothing, above is a picture of Mike Watt and his bandmates Tom Watson and Raul Morales (AKA the Missingmen) rocking Holland that I got in my e-mail today. It’s good to rock and this photo captures it nicely. I’m not sure who took it. Anyway, go eat something.

Dave Hill

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you get lots of candy and presents and stuff. Apropos of nothing, above is a picture of Mike Watt and his bandmates Tom Watson and Raul Morales (AKA the Missingmen) rocking Holland that I got in my e-mail today. It’s good to rock and this photo captures it nicely. I’m not sure who took it. Anyway, go eat something.

Dave Hill

My friends Tim and Brian started a T-shirt company called Shelf Life Clothing and you should check that shit out and then go buy some of that shit. They are funny, sporty, and stylish- a combination well-worth your hard-earned dollars. Anyway, check out some of their shirts here. I have the Steroids one and the Shaq one and they have changed my life for the better. Really, I was a bit of a mess before I got those T-shirts. Ask anybody.

Dave Hill

My friends Tim and Brian started a T-shirt company called Shelf Life Clothing and you should check that shit out and then go buy some of that shit. They are funny, sporty, and stylish- a combination well-worth your hard-earned dollars. Anyway, check out some of their shirts here. I have the Steroids one and the Shaq one and they have changed my life for the better. Really, I was a bit of a mess before I got those T-shirts. Ask anybody.

Dave Hill

As hinted at in the subject line of this entry, I have left scenic Las Vegas and am currently on a plane somewhere between there and New York City. I am generally wiped out and hungover (I say this not to suggest that I lead and/or condone the “party” lifestyle. It’s just that I got really hammered last night) and feel like a great big fat person after eating and drinking in the Vegas style for the past five days. As you can probably tell from the photo above, I am feeling less than excellent, something that I am trying to express with a facial expression. That’s me sitting in the Las Vegas airport totally waiting for the airplane people to let me get on the airplane so I can go home. If you look closely you can see one of those luggage-loading carts in the background. It was a pretty incredible experience for everyone.

Anyway, yesterday I spent most of my time interviewing people who were on the popular Comic Relief show for the popular premium cable television network HBO. I talked to a whole bunch of nice people, including but not limited to Bill Maher, Jeffrey Tambor, Jennifer Coolidge, Rita Rudner, Jeremy Piven and the rest of the guys from the popular program “Entourage,” Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, George Lopez, D.L. Hughley, Lewis Black, Jim Norton, Ray Romano, Louis C.K., Rebecca Romijn, S. Epatha Merkerson from the popular program “Law and Order,” the two guys from “Desperate Housewives” (a popular program I have never seen but acted like I have the whole time I was talking with them), and then some other people besides all of the ones I just mentioned that for whatever reason I can’t remember right now. It was tiring but a lot of fun and whatnot. I kept myself going by drinking water and eating M&M’s the whole time. It’s important to stay hydrated and hopped up on sugar while talking while famous people I have learned. Another thing I learned is that it’s good to have a conversation starter when talking with famous people. In my case, I had a horrible shaving cut on my face that about half of the people I spoke with couldn’t help but notice and start talking about. Rebecca Romijn (whom I accidentally called Rebecca Romijn-Stamos but she was still nice to me) tried to wipe away some of the dried up blood by rubbing her spit into my cheek. It was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me in North America. Fuck you, John Stamos- you blew it!

After Comic Relief was over there was a big party outside by the big swimming pools at Caesar’s Palace (which is just like being in Rome during ancient times). I went there and ate and drank a lot and made light chit-chat and stuff like that. It was really great for everybody. Then I went to some other party and did more of all that stuff and threw acting-like-a-jackass into the mix just to vary things up a bit. Then I headed back to my palatial hotel room for one last night of stinking up the place. I am really excited to get back to New York and not be a big disgusting Las Vegas person anymore.

On the plane I am on right now you can watch television on little screens that are in the back of the person’s seat in front o you. About half the people around me appear to be watching a program about getting breast implants. It looks pretty great. As you have probably figured out over the course of reading this entry, I am 97.6% braindead at the moment so I think I will stop typing and get back to staring blankly at the headrest in front of me. I will let you know how all of that goes.

Dave Hill

As hinted at in the subject line of this entry, I have left scenic Las Vegas and am currently on a plane somewhere between there and New York City. I am generally wiped out and hungover (I say this not to suggest that I lead and/or condone the “party” lifestyle. It’s just that I got really hammered last night) and feel like a great big fat person after eating and drinking in the Vegas style for the past five days. As you can probably tell from the photo above, I am feeling less than excellent, something that I am trying to express with a facial expression. That’s me sitting in the Las Vegas airport totally waiting for the airplane people to let me get on the airplane so I can go home. If you look closely you can see one of those luggage-loading carts in the background. It was a pretty incredible experience for everyone.

Anyway, yesterday I spent most of my time interviewing people who were on the popular Comic Relief show for the popular premium cable television network HBO. I talked to a whole bunch of nice people, including but not limited to Bill Maher, Jeffrey Tambor, Jennifer Coolidge, Rita Rudner, Jeremy Piven and the rest of the guys from the popular program “Entourage,” Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, George Lopez, D.L. Hughley, Lewis Black, Jim Norton, Ray Romano, Louis C.K., Rebecca Romijn, S. Epatha Merkerson from the popular program “Law and Order,” the two guys from “Desperate Housewives” (a popular program I have never seen but acted like I have the whole time I was talking with them), and then some other people besides all of the ones I just mentioned that for whatever reason I can’t remember right now. It was tiring but a lot of fun and whatnot. I kept myself going by drinking water and eating M&M’s the whole time. It’s important to stay hydrated and hopped up on sugar while talking while famous people I have learned. Another thing I learned is that it’s good to have a conversation starter when talking with famous people. In my case, I had a horrible shaving cut on my face that about half of the people I spoke with couldn’t help but notice and start talking about. Rebecca Romijn (whom I accidentally called Rebecca Romijn-Stamos but she was still nice to me) tried to wipe away some of the dried up blood by rubbing her spit into my cheek. It was one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me in North America. Fuck you, John Stamos- you blew it!

After Comic Relief was over there was a big party outside by the big swimming pools at Caesar’s Palace (which is just like being in Rome during ancient times). I went there and ate and drank a lot and made light chit-chat and stuff like that. It was really great for everybody. Then I went to some other party and did more of all that stuff and threw acting-like-a-jackass into the mix just to vary things up a bit. Then I headed back to my palatial hotel room for one last night of stinking up the place. I am really excited to get back to New York and not be a big disgusting Las Vegas person anymore.

On the plane I am on right now you can watch television on little screens that are in the back of the person’s seat in front o you. About half the people around me appear to be watching a program about getting breast implants. It looks pretty great. As you have probably figured out over the course of reading this entry, I am 97.6% braindead at the moment so I think I will stop typing and get back to staring blankly at the headrest in front of me. I will let you know how all of that goes.

Dave Hill

As hinted at in the previous entry, I am in scenic Las Vegas as I type this and- as you can probably imagine- I am pretty much ruling the fuck out of this place. I have been staying pretty busy running around interviewing all sorts of comedy type people on behalf of the popular HBO premium cable television network. I am also having a lot of fun and eating and drinking a lot and generally enjoying the perks of being a show business person who experiences glitz and glamour at every turn, even when I’m sitting around not really doing anything (like right now for example. I am still in my underwear.).

Yesterday, I interviewed a bunch of lovely people, including but not limited to Jamie Kennedy, Susie Essman, and Robert Kelly (the popular comedian from the Dane Cook “Tourgasm” program), who touched my package. Later today, I am going to Comic Relief and will talk with a bunch of folks there. Until then, I will probably just do creepy stuff in my hotel room. I am staying in a palatial room (pictured above) at the popular Caesar’s Palace hotel and casino type place. It’s really big and I keep losing things because I set them down on one end of the room and then forget that I just did that. And then it takes like a half an hour to get from one side of the room to the other and I get so exhausted by the commute that I forget what I was looking for in the first place. The bathroom is really huge too and has one of those big bathtubs that turns into a jacuzzi when you least expect it. I have tried out the jacuzzi a couple times but after sitting in there and splashing around for a couple minutes I am not sure what else to do so I end up just getting out and going back to whatever I was up to right before that. Sometimes I will also take a shower because I figure by sitting in the jacuzzi tub thing I must have all sorts of crazy germs and whatnot on me, shit that I don’t even want to know about.

In case you were wondering, I haven’t really been doing any gambling while I’m here, though I have been watching plenty of it and it’s pretty incredible. Another really incredible thing about this town is that all the mirrors stretch you out so you look thinner and- theoretically- better than you look in real life. I guess this is so people will look at their reflection and think “Wow, I am not nearly as fat and disgusting as I was originally led to believe. Let’s go spend money!” It seems to be working. I even tricked myself into believing I wasn’t quite so hideous for a couple minutes but then I figured out the mirror trick and I went back to working on my inner beauty and accepting the fact that- if nothing else- I at least have incredible hair.

Okay, so that’s pretty much the deal with me at the moment. I have to go eat some breakfast now or I am going to have a seizure. More on this and other topics later.

Dave Hill

As hinted at in the previous entry, I am in scenic Las Vegas as I type this and- as you can probably imagine- I am pretty much ruling the fuck out of this place. I have been staying pretty busy running around interviewing all sorts of comedy type people on behalf of the popular HBO premium cable television network. I am also having a lot of fun and eating and drinking a lot and generally enjoying the perks of being a show business person who experiences glitz and glamour at every turn, even when I’m sitting around not really doing anything (like right now for example. I am still in my underwear.).

Yesterday, I interviewed a bunch of lovely people, including but not limited to Jamie Kennedy, Susie Essman, and Robert Kelly (the popular comedian from the Dane Cook “Tourgasm” program), who touched my package. Later today, I am going to Comic Relief and will talk with a bunch of folks there. Until then, I will probably just do creepy stuff in my hotel room. I am staying in a palatial room (pictured above) at the popular Caesar’s Palace hotel and casino type place. It’s really big and I keep losing things because I set them down on one end of the room and then forget that I just did that. And then it takes like a half an hour to get from one side of the room to the other and I get so exhausted by the commute that I forget what I was looking for in the first place. The bathroom is really huge too and has one of those big bathtubs that turns into a jacuzzi when you least expect it. I have tried out the jacuzzi a couple times but after sitting in there and splashing around for a couple minutes I am not sure what else to do so I end up just getting out and going back to whatever I was up to right before that. Sometimes I will also take a shower because I figure by sitting in the jacuzzi tub thing I must have all sorts of crazy germs and whatnot on me, shit that I don’t even want to know about.

In case you were wondering, I haven’t really been doing any gambling while I’m here, though I have been watching plenty of it and it’s pretty incredible. Another really incredible thing about this town is that all the mirrors stretch you out so you look thinner and- theoretically- better than you look in real life. I guess this is so people will look at their reflection and think “Wow, I am not nearly as fat and disgusting as I was originally led to believe. Let’s go spend money!” It seems to be working. I even tricked myself into believing I wasn’t quite so hideous for a couple minutes but then I figured out the mirror trick and I went back to working on my inner beauty and accepting the fact that- if nothing else- I at least have incredible hair.

Okay, so that’s pretty much the deal with me at the moment. I have to go eat some breakfast now or I am going to have a seizure. More on this and other topics later.

Dave Hill