I have just returned from lunch in the Big City with some friends at Chat n’ Chew on 16th Street. I hate the name of this place as it makes me think of someone talking and chewing at the same time, which generally turns out to be an unpleasant thing to witness. Still, I think the food at Chat n’ Chew is generally really good so I find myself getting over the name of the place just shortly after sitting down every time I go there, which isn’t all that often, but hopefully you see my point.

This time around at Chat n’ Chew (a restaurant whose name I am also finding unpleasant to even type) I had a bowl of lobster bisque (not a usual choice for me, but I was feeling randy), meatloaf (it’s officially called “Not Your Mother’s Meatloaf,” which seems to imply that my mother’s meatloaf is bullshit or something. It’s not! F*cker. In the interest of full disclosure, however, my daddy usual did the meatloaf-making in my house when I was growing up. He just had a way with it.), mashed potatoes, vegetables, and a chocolate milk shake. It was delicious. However, I would strongly urge you not to do as I have done. I need to take a nap now. And then maybe have my stomach pumped. All of those items on their own make for good times, but put them all together and you’ve got a situation on your hands. Trust me on this one.

That is all for now.

Dave Hill

I have just returned from lunch in the Big City with some friends at Chat n’ Chew on 16th Street. I hate the name of this place as it makes me think of someone talking and chewing at the same time, which generally turns out to be an unpleasant thing to witness. Still, I think the food at Chat n’ Chew is generally really good so I find myself getting over the name of the place just shortly after sitting down every time I go there, which isn’t all that often, but hopefully you see my point.

This time around at Chat n’ Chew (a restaurant whose name I am also finding unpleasant to even type) I had a bowl of lobster bisque (not a usual choice for me, but I was feeling randy), meatloaf (it’s officially called “Not Your Mother’s Meatloaf,” which seems to imply that my mother’s meatloaf is bullshit or something. It’s not! F*cker. In the interest of full disclosure, however, my daddy usual did the meatloaf-making in my house when I was growing up. He just had a way with it.), mashed potatoes, vegetables, and a chocolate milk shake. It was delicious. However, I would strongly urge you not to do as I have done. I need to take a nap now. And then maybe have my stomach pumped. All of those items on their own make for good times, but put them all together and you’ve got a situation on your hands. Trust me on this one.

That is all for now.

Dave Hill

Dave Hill

Dave Hill

Dear friends, colleagues, and other people with Internet access:

I just wanted remind you once again that this Thursday night, Dec. 15 at 11pm, my thoughtful and provocative nightclub act The Dave Hill Explosion will be exploding for the very last time in the year I have taken to calling 2005 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (located at 307 West 26th Street, right down the street from Dallas BBQ on 8th Avenue, where it is pretty much impossible not to have a really great time). If you are a fan of sitting in a dark room with a bunch of other people while I do my best to draw attention to myself for approximately 35 minutes straight, coming to my show is seriously the best possible way you could spend your Thursday evening. Admittedly, I will be standing on a lighted stage all by myself for most of the show, so the drawing-attention-to-myself thing will not be all that hard, but that does not mean I am going to skimp on the entertainment in any way whatsoever. I am going to talk, sing, dance, read stuff, show a couple short movies, and do a bunch of other stuff that is so entertaining in general that you are probably going to have to go into counseling immediately afterwards just to help you adjust back to your normal life. No sh*t. As if all of that is not enough, my special guests on Thursday are going to be Lisa and Brittny Gastineau, the mother/daughter team who are perhaps best known to Americans everywhere as the Gastineau Girls, stars of the popular show of the same name. It is at this point that you are probably thinking to yourself “Great, I am going to have to shell out like seven million dollars to see a show this incredible.” And to that I am all like “No, it is FREE.” And to that you are probably all like “Dave, how do you do it?” And then to that I am all like “You know what, if I knew I would be cleaning up at the Learning Annex right now or something.” Let us just enjoy ourselves. You seem really nice. Anyway, I hope you can make it this Thursday. You can reserve the FREE tickets for yourself and your loved ones if you are so inclined at ucbt.net, which is a website. Also, I am going to give a free large pizza to the first 150 audience members.* Take that, Oprah.

Yours in showbiz,
Dave Hill

*This part is not true and was just added at the last second for dramatic effect. I might have snacks though. Still thinking about it.

Dear friends, colleagues, and other people with Internet access:

I just wanted remind you once again that this Thursday night, Dec. 15 at 11pm, my thoughtful and provocative nightclub act The Dave Hill Explosion will be exploding for the very last time in the year I have taken to calling 2005 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (located at 307 West 26th Street, right down the street from Dallas BBQ on 8th Avenue, where it is pretty much impossible not to have a really great time). If you are a fan of sitting in a dark room with a bunch of other people while I do my best to draw attention to myself for approximately 35 minutes straight, coming to my show is seriously the best possible way you could spend your Thursday evening. Admittedly, I will be standing on a lighted stage all by myself for most of the show, so the drawing-attention-to-myself thing will not be all that hard, but that does not mean I am going to skimp on the entertainment in any way whatsoever. I am going to talk, sing, dance, read stuff, show a couple short movies, and do a bunch of other stuff that is so entertaining in general that you are probably going to have to go into counseling immediately afterwards just to help you adjust back to your normal life. No sh*t. As if all of that is not enough, my special guests on Thursday are going to be Lisa and Brittny Gastineau, the mother/daughter team who are perhaps best known to Americans everywhere as the Gastineau Girls, stars of the popular show of the same name. It is at this point that you are probably thinking to yourself “Great, I am going to have to shell out like seven million dollars to see a show this incredible.” And to that I am all like “No, it is FREE.” And to that you are probably all like “Dave, how do you do it?” And then to that I am all like “You know what, if I knew I would be cleaning up at the Learning Annex right now or something.” Let us just enjoy ourselves. You seem really nice. Anyway, I hope you can make it this Thursday. You can reserve the FREE tickets for yourself and your loved ones if you are so inclined at ucbt.net, which is a website. Also, I am going to give a free large pizza to the first 150 audience members.* Take that, Oprah.

Yours in showbiz,
Dave Hill

*This part is not true and was just added at the last second for dramatic effect. I might have snacks though. Still thinking about it.

Here is something I happened upon while making a coffee and orange juice run this morning. I spotted these two fellows on the side of a truck owned Metropolitan Lumber and Hardware of Brooklyn. Am I alone in thinking that the cartoon 2×4 and hammer look not unlike, you know, um, a penis and testicles (There. I said it.)? And do you think the guys at Metropolitan Lumber and Hardward get all giggly every time they send their truck out on the road each day? I know I would. In fact, I wonder if these guys are hiring. I don’t think driving the penis truck around town would ever get old. I’d probably have to pull over all the time because of all the giggling though. In fact, I’m finding it really difficult to even type right now. Gosh, I love those little guys. Metropolitan Lumber and Hardware, I salute you!

Dave Hill

Here is something I happened upon while making a coffee and orange juice run this morning. I spotted these two fellows on the side of a truck owned Metropolitan Lumber and Hardware of Brooklyn. Am I alone in thinking that the cartoon 2×4 and hammer look not unlike, you know, um, a penis and testicles (There. I said it.)? And do you think the guys at Metropolitan Lumber and Hardward get all giggly every time they send their truck out on the road each day? I know I would. In fact, I wonder if these guys are hiring. I don’t think driving the penis truck around town would ever get old. I’d probably have to pull over all the time because of all the giggling though. In fact, I’m finding it really difficult to even type right now. Gosh, I love those little guys. Metropolitan Lumber and Hardware, I salute you!

Dave Hill

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv6WWxkOmpo]
Here is a pretty sweet video of the Norwegian black metal band Immortal rocking at the Wacken festival (not sure what year). It’s pretty incredible in, like, 500 different ways. And, more than anything else, I really like how these guys just kind of go for it. We could all learn a thing or two from Immortal. I do, however, think the drummer needs to reconsider the hair. That look works for the Catherine Zeta-Jones’ of the world, but when you’re keeping time for a black metal band, you can’t be sporting a ponytail like that. People might start thinking you don’t really live it 24/7 or something. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the video.

Dave Hill

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv6WWxkOmpo]
Here is a pretty sweet video of the Norwegian black metal band Immortal rocking at the Wacken festival (not sure what year). It’s pretty incredible in, like, 500 different ways. And, more than anything else, I really like how these guys just kind of go for it. We could all learn a thing or two from Immortal. I do, however, think the drummer needs to reconsider the hair. That look works for the Catherine Zeta-Jones’ of the world, but when you’re keeping time for a black metal band, you can’t be sporting a ponytail like that. People might start thinking you don’t really live it 24/7 or something. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the video.

Dave Hill